Back in October I was arrested gor having a suspended license. I didn't know they were suspended because I had no outstanding fines or anything, and wasn't notified they were suspended. It was a huge misunderstanded and mix up by the Department of Driver Services here in Georgia.
Anyway, I spend 3 or 4 hours in jail and was bonded out.
Well today I went to court to have the charges dropped and to pay my speeding ticket. We were hoping the judge would go ahead and lower my speeding ticket due to the fact that I had to spend time in jail (there was no question that he would drop the other charge).
Well, he didn't lower the fine. In fact I had to pay $229 for that shit.
When Jason and I went to the clerk to pay, Jason made the comment "That judge must have a rod up his ass" which I found funny. Well another clerk that wasn't even waiting on us said "You shouldn't make disrespectful comments like that".
We didn't give a shit. Freedom of speech and all that.
Well we left to get cash (that's all they would take!) and when I went in to pay, that stupid bitch had gone and TATTLED on my husband! We had to go BACK into the court!
So Jason got a lecture and all that, so I went back to pay and the cunt was being very rude.
But I kept my mouth shut.
She gave me my recipt, after taking way too fucking long, and I took and walked away.
She sarcastically said "Well have a Merry Christmas! But you don't have to snatch"
So I turn around at the door and said "Well I have a business to run and a child to take care of, I don't have time for this"
AND SHE RAN TO TATTLE ABOUT THAT!
So I was called back to the judge and lectured.
It took every ounce of will power I had to keep my cool.
Even the cops there were like "Yea, we know exactly who you're talking about" and saw no reason for us to "get in trouble".
I understand she has a pathetic lonely life. She's short, fat, makes maybe $10 an hour sitting on her fat ass, doesn't have a man, and probably no friends if she's that much of a bitch. So she thinks she can run and tattle on people to look important. I doubt she's has much of an education because she couldn't even count out $240 in 20 dollar bills. So what if she was left out of everything in school and treated like an outcast. The only attention you're going to get by being a cunt in negative attention.
Karma is a bitch. You'll get yours
Friday, December 9, 2011
Thursday, December 1, 2011
The bottle is not the breast...
The other day I posted on Facebook about people needing to mind their own business about women choosing to nurse their toddlers.
I am still nursing my 23 month old and have had a few people, including family, tell me ...
"Don't you think its time to stop?"
"If she's asking for it, she doesn't need it."
"Don't you think that will mess up her teeth?"
As a matter of fact, I don't agree with any of those. I have taught her to let me know when she needs to use the potty. I have taught her to say please. I have taught her to ask for food.
Shouldn't she learn to ask for milk as well?
And there is absolutely no valid reason for her to stop.
I have read all of the most recent studies about breastfeeding, and continued breastfeeding. At no point in a person's life does breast milk stop being beneficial. Sorcha is still sharing my immunities. She is still getting the most perfect nutrition developed specifically for her. She is still benefiting form the quiet time she and I share. We are still bonding.
Why would I deny her that?
If these people would only look at the miracle that is breastmilk!
Anyway. After having several breastfeeding mothers and supporters back me up on my post, my ignorant ass stepmother chimed in about people making comments about her grandson (whom she is raising with my dad) still being on the bottle at 2 years old.
THE BOTTLE IS NOT THE SAME AS BREASTFEEDING
The natural nipple is actually healthy for the development of a child's teeth, soft palate and jaw. Breast milk not only contains a component that actually kills the germs that cause tooth decay, the nipple goes far enough back in the mouth that the milk actually doesn't get on the teeth. And when a baby falls asleep, they don't keep the nipple in their mouth (well, unless the mother also falls asleep, but trust me, it will wake her up once those teeth chomp down!)
An artificial nipple, no matter the design, causes the mouth to form an unnatural shape and can cause buck teeth and malformed soft palate. Almost all toddlers still using a bottle drinks mainly juice. Sugar filled juice. There is not a single benefit to using a bottle at any point in a child's life.
Why would anyone even compare the two?
Being a nurse she should know that bottles are bad for his teeth!
I just don't understand some people's thought processes sometimes.
I am still nursing my 23 month old and have had a few people, including family, tell me ...
"Don't you think its time to stop?"
"If she's asking for it, she doesn't need it."
"Don't you think that will mess up her teeth?"
As a matter of fact, I don't agree with any of those. I have taught her to let me know when she needs to use the potty. I have taught her to say please. I have taught her to ask for food.
Shouldn't she learn to ask for milk as well?
And there is absolutely no valid reason for her to stop.
I have read all of the most recent studies about breastfeeding, and continued breastfeeding. At no point in a person's life does breast milk stop being beneficial. Sorcha is still sharing my immunities. She is still getting the most perfect nutrition developed specifically for her. She is still benefiting form the quiet time she and I share. We are still bonding.
Why would I deny her that?
If these people would only look at the miracle that is breastmilk!
Anyway. After having several breastfeeding mothers and supporters back me up on my post, my ignorant ass stepmother chimed in about people making comments about her grandson (whom she is raising with my dad) still being on the bottle at 2 years old.
THE BOTTLE IS NOT THE SAME AS BREASTFEEDING
The natural nipple is actually healthy for the development of a child's teeth, soft palate and jaw. Breast milk not only contains a component that actually kills the germs that cause tooth decay, the nipple goes far enough back in the mouth that the milk actually doesn't get on the teeth. And when a baby falls asleep, they don't keep the nipple in their mouth (well, unless the mother also falls asleep, but trust me, it will wake her up once those teeth chomp down!)
An artificial nipple, no matter the design, causes the mouth to form an unnatural shape and can cause buck teeth and malformed soft palate. Almost all toddlers still using a bottle drinks mainly juice. Sugar filled juice. There is not a single benefit to using a bottle at any point in a child's life.
Why would anyone even compare the two?
Being a nurse she should know that bottles are bad for his teeth!
I just don't understand some people's thought processes sometimes.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
To whip or not to whip?
I just watched a video of a Texas judge whipping his daughter and it made me think of how I was punished as a child and how I punish my kids.
When I was small, from some of my earliest memories until I was 14, I was whipped with a belt when I disobeyed or lied (or was suspected of wrong doing). My mom would give the 4 of us kids a few licks with a belt that would upset us for a few minutes, but was effective in correcting our behavior.
That's what the video of the judge whipping his daughter looked like to me. She only seemed upset while he was hitting her legs with the belt. But the moment he stopped, she was no longer crying. That tells me he wasn't hitting her hard.
Now my dad, that's another story. He would leave bruises from the back of our knees all the way up our backs. He would snatch his belt off and say "Put your hands on the (table/chair/wall/couch)" and we did it immediately. We knew that the faster we complied, the sooner the pain would end. Even if we couldn't sit down after, at least we could get out of his sight and get comfort from our mom or each other.
I hated my dad for years because of how he beat us. He would yell and call us stupid or niggers or trash or whatever else he could think of. He made sure to break our spirits before we had a chance to position ourselves for the beating. Then he'd bring his arm back as far as he could and swing with all of his might so that the belt wrapped around our legs or hips or waist.
That's the part that really stung. It would swell up and bruise so quickly that when he hit that spot again, sometimes it would bleed.
I remember when I was in the second grade I showed my friend a really bad bruise on my thigh and she told my teacher who (I found out recently) called my mom about it. It was the only time I had ever shown someone other than my sisters or brother one of my bruises. My friend's reaction made me afraid to show anyone else. I didn't want my dad to find out and whip me again.
Then, when I was 8, my dad came home and my brother was at the neighbor's house. Dad was furious and made me go get him. So I ran over there, but he wasn't there. About 15 minutes later I saw him walk into the yard and walked out to warn him that Dad was mad and was looking for him.
He beat my brother for the next 30 minutes. My sister and I sat in her room, huddled together, counting the licks my brother received between my dad's rantings.
I begged God to make it stop.
We counted 56 licks, I think.
Then mom came home and they started fighting, again. They fought non stop (he abused her as well)
While they were distracted, I ran to my brother's room and just help him as he shook. He had tears but didn't seem to know it.
My brother has always been my hero, and it hurt my heart to see him in so much pain.
Soon after that my parents finally divorced.
My dad beat my brother less (he had always been my dad's target) and turned his wrath on me. Apparently I was the reason things went missing (he once shattered his door and said he'd do that to me if I didn't give back the measuring cup I "stole") or was dirty.
He started saying he wished he could shoot me and throw me in the dumpster so he wouldn't have to deal with me.
Over the next few years I did everything I could to try to make him proud of me. Nothing worked. He just seemed to hate me more and more. He even called me a whore because I went for a walk alone at my mom's house. He said I could never see her again.
So I read their divorce papers (he violated a lot of the stuff in there!) and saw that I could choose who I wanted to live with once I turned 14.
Soon after my 14th birthday I told my sister to take me to my mom's house cause I was never going to live with my dad again. She refused. So I told her "Just let me get my clothes from there, then!"
As soon as we pulled into the driveway, I said "Bye!" and jumped out.
She told me dad would be mad, but I told her I didn't care, there was nothing he could do.
Later that night there was a knock at the door. I opened it and my dad hit me with a belt. He told me to put my hands on the door and he hit me again. I turned to him and yelled "DON'T EVER HIT ME AGAIN!" It was the first time I really stood up to him.
That time the belt wrapped around my wrist when he swung it. It hurt so bad.
He made me go get my clothes and go to his house.
It was the last time I spent the night at his house.
I love my dad because he is my dad. But I have no desire to be near him. I also have no desire to have my kids near him.
He has apologized in recent years, and I have forgiven him. I understand why he was the way he was. He was a weak minded man that couldn't get past his own abuse from his childhood. He couldn't get past the fact that he became an unwilling father at 17 to a woman he never loved. And he probably never really loved the 4 of his kids. And I'm ok with that now.
I accept that there will never be a real relationship between us. It still hurts sometimes because I had hoped that one day he could be a real father. But its only a sadness for what could have been, not what was.
And the way I was raised has had an effect on the way I discipline my kids.
It absolutely breaks my heart to whip my son, so I do it as little as possible. I've learned to channel my anger and talk it out with him instead of flying off the handle. When he does get whipped, I calmly sit him down and explain why he's getting it, he gets a few licks, then I hold him and make sure he understands that I only want him to learn right from wrong. Then I usually walk away and cry.
It will be the same with my daughter.
There is a right way to whip. And I believe whipping is good. It shows a child that doing wrong will result in a bad consequence.
But moderation is key. Its never ok to hit your child just because you're mad. Its never ok to bruise your child. And its never ok to make your child feel unloved or like they are less than an amazing human being.
When I was small, from some of my earliest memories until I was 14, I was whipped with a belt when I disobeyed or lied (or was suspected of wrong doing). My mom would give the 4 of us kids a few licks with a belt that would upset us for a few minutes, but was effective in correcting our behavior.
That's what the video of the judge whipping his daughter looked like to me. She only seemed upset while he was hitting her legs with the belt. But the moment he stopped, she was no longer crying. That tells me he wasn't hitting her hard.
Now my dad, that's another story. He would leave bruises from the back of our knees all the way up our backs. He would snatch his belt off and say "Put your hands on the (table/chair/wall/couch)" and we did it immediately. We knew that the faster we complied, the sooner the pain would end. Even if we couldn't sit down after, at least we could get out of his sight and get comfort from our mom or each other.
I hated my dad for years because of how he beat us. He would yell and call us stupid or niggers or trash or whatever else he could think of. He made sure to break our spirits before we had a chance to position ourselves for the beating. Then he'd bring his arm back as far as he could and swing with all of his might so that the belt wrapped around our legs or hips or waist.
That's the part that really stung. It would swell up and bruise so quickly that when he hit that spot again, sometimes it would bleed.
I remember when I was in the second grade I showed my friend a really bad bruise on my thigh and she told my teacher who (I found out recently) called my mom about it. It was the only time I had ever shown someone other than my sisters or brother one of my bruises. My friend's reaction made me afraid to show anyone else. I didn't want my dad to find out and whip me again.
Then, when I was 8, my dad came home and my brother was at the neighbor's house. Dad was furious and made me go get him. So I ran over there, but he wasn't there. About 15 minutes later I saw him walk into the yard and walked out to warn him that Dad was mad and was looking for him.
He beat my brother for the next 30 minutes. My sister and I sat in her room, huddled together, counting the licks my brother received between my dad's rantings.
I begged God to make it stop.
We counted 56 licks, I think.
Then mom came home and they started fighting, again. They fought non stop (he abused her as well)
While they were distracted, I ran to my brother's room and just help him as he shook. He had tears but didn't seem to know it.
My brother has always been my hero, and it hurt my heart to see him in so much pain.
Soon after that my parents finally divorced.
My dad beat my brother less (he had always been my dad's target) and turned his wrath on me. Apparently I was the reason things went missing (he once shattered his door and said he'd do that to me if I didn't give back the measuring cup I "stole") or was dirty.
He started saying he wished he could shoot me and throw me in the dumpster so he wouldn't have to deal with me.
Over the next few years I did everything I could to try to make him proud of me. Nothing worked. He just seemed to hate me more and more. He even called me a whore because I went for a walk alone at my mom's house. He said I could never see her again.
So I read their divorce papers (he violated a lot of the stuff in there!) and saw that I could choose who I wanted to live with once I turned 14.
Soon after my 14th birthday I told my sister to take me to my mom's house cause I was never going to live with my dad again. She refused. So I told her "Just let me get my clothes from there, then!"
As soon as we pulled into the driveway, I said "Bye!" and jumped out.
She told me dad would be mad, but I told her I didn't care, there was nothing he could do.
Later that night there was a knock at the door. I opened it and my dad hit me with a belt. He told me to put my hands on the door and he hit me again. I turned to him and yelled "DON'T EVER HIT ME AGAIN!" It was the first time I really stood up to him.
That time the belt wrapped around my wrist when he swung it. It hurt so bad.
He made me go get my clothes and go to his house.
It was the last time I spent the night at his house.
I love my dad because he is my dad. But I have no desire to be near him. I also have no desire to have my kids near him.
He has apologized in recent years, and I have forgiven him. I understand why he was the way he was. He was a weak minded man that couldn't get past his own abuse from his childhood. He couldn't get past the fact that he became an unwilling father at 17 to a woman he never loved. And he probably never really loved the 4 of his kids. And I'm ok with that now.
I accept that there will never be a real relationship between us. It still hurts sometimes because I had hoped that one day he could be a real father. But its only a sadness for what could have been, not what was.
And the way I was raised has had an effect on the way I discipline my kids.
It absolutely breaks my heart to whip my son, so I do it as little as possible. I've learned to channel my anger and talk it out with him instead of flying off the handle. When he does get whipped, I calmly sit him down and explain why he's getting it, he gets a few licks, then I hold him and make sure he understands that I only want him to learn right from wrong. Then I usually walk away and cry.
It will be the same with my daughter.
There is a right way to whip. And I believe whipping is good. It shows a child that doing wrong will result in a bad consequence.
But moderation is key. Its never ok to hit your child just because you're mad. Its never ok to bruise your child. And its never ok to make your child feel unloved or like they are less than an amazing human being.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Halloween
Since Monday was Halloween, and my absolute favorite holiday, I wanted to talk a bit about it.
When I was growing up, I wasn't allowed to celebrate Halloween. We didn't go trick or treating or dress up. We didn't even give out candy. I do remember one year we got to carry our pillowcases and go to the few houses on our street (a grand total of 5!) in our play clothes while it was still day time.
I loved it!
Now, I'm not the kind of person that watches scary, gory movies. In fact, I refuse to watch anything like that. I've had horrible night terrors since I was probably born and its just something I don't want to feed.
However, I love the scary part of Halloween!
I love graveyards and skeletons and ghosts, and all that stuff. Though that stuff fascinates me year round, its much more fun to see it all when the weather is cool and the nights are darker.
Its such a fun time of year!
But in recent years I've noticed that females of all ages use the holiday as an excuse to dress like a whore. I've heard people defending it ("They just want to feel sexy!") but I just can't get in on it. Especially the young girls who do it. Its disturbing enough to see a 15 year old girl with a dress up to her cookie, but this year I've seen 5 and 6 year old girls dressed like that with high heels on!
Excuse me? Where the fuck are their parents?
Ooh yea. They're the ones allowing it!
Have these people not thought about their actions? Have they not seen the news where children are being abducted, raped, and murdered? Do they not realize how many sexual predators are actually in their communities? There is a website that shows where each one lives. I've been on it 2 or 3 times, and its scary to know that there are some that live so close to us.
Why don't parents realize that they aren't being their child's friend, they're actually setting their daughters out there to be leered at by perverted men? They are over sexualizing their daughters and implanting it in their heads that sexy is what matters.
I like to dress sexy when Jason and I go out for our dates. I put on my 4 or 5 inch heels and a cute black dress. I pay more attention to how my makeup looks. Its nice to be a little sexy.
But its completely different to look like a street corner whore. Its not cute. Its disturbing. And it shows a lack of self respect.
When I was growing up, I wasn't allowed to celebrate Halloween. We didn't go trick or treating or dress up. We didn't even give out candy. I do remember one year we got to carry our pillowcases and go to the few houses on our street (a grand total of 5!) in our play clothes while it was still day time.
I loved it!
Now, I'm not the kind of person that watches scary, gory movies. In fact, I refuse to watch anything like that. I've had horrible night terrors since I was probably born and its just something I don't want to feed.
However, I love the scary part of Halloween!
I love graveyards and skeletons and ghosts, and all that stuff. Though that stuff fascinates me year round, its much more fun to see it all when the weather is cool and the nights are darker.
Its such a fun time of year!
But in recent years I've noticed that females of all ages use the holiday as an excuse to dress like a whore. I've heard people defending it ("They just want to feel sexy!") but I just can't get in on it. Especially the young girls who do it. Its disturbing enough to see a 15 year old girl with a dress up to her cookie, but this year I've seen 5 and 6 year old girls dressed like that with high heels on!
Excuse me? Where the fuck are their parents?
Ooh yea. They're the ones allowing it!
Have these people not thought about their actions? Have they not seen the news where children are being abducted, raped, and murdered? Do they not realize how many sexual predators are actually in their communities? There is a website that shows where each one lives. I've been on it 2 or 3 times, and its scary to know that there are some that live so close to us.
Why don't parents realize that they aren't being their child's friend, they're actually setting their daughters out there to be leered at by perverted men? They are over sexualizing their daughters and implanting it in their heads that sexy is what matters.
I like to dress sexy when Jason and I go out for our dates. I put on my 4 or 5 inch heels and a cute black dress. I pay more attention to how my makeup looks. Its nice to be a little sexy.
But its completely different to look like a street corner whore. Its not cute. Its disturbing. And it shows a lack of self respect.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Might as well
Since this is my blog and I can do whatever I want, I'm going to advertize.
I have a fan page on Facebook, if you want to check out my sales, promotions or just look at some delicious food!
http://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=296528947024321&id=148466799637¬if_t=share_comment
I have a fan page on Facebook, if you want to check out my sales, promotions or just look at some delicious food!
http://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=296528947024321&id=148466799637¬if_t=share_comment
Running in circles
Well, my goal was to lose 4 to 6 pounds by today. I've lost 2.
I need to workout but I am so tired I can't stand it.
I just wish Sorcha would sleep so I can sleep. She's sick and hasn't been sleeping much lately. Its driving me up the wall.
And since the holidays are coming up, I'm doing more "heavy" baking. Like right now I'm doing a "Test This" sale for my business where you can test out a newer version of my Sweet Potato Cheesecake, my Pumpkin Cheesecake and some Apple Honey Butter.
And guess who will also be "testing" them...
I am my own worst enemy when it comes to losing weight.
I need to workout but I am so tired I can't stand it.
I just wish Sorcha would sleep so I can sleep. She's sick and hasn't been sleeping much lately. Its driving me up the wall.
And since the holidays are coming up, I'm doing more "heavy" baking. Like right now I'm doing a "Test This" sale for my business where you can test out a newer version of my Sweet Potato Cheesecake, my Pumpkin Cheesecake and some Apple Honey Butter.
And guess who will also be "testing" them...
I am my own worst enemy when it comes to losing weight.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Food Presentation
If you plan on eating at a restaurant anytime in the future, or working at one, I have tips on how your plate should look.
First off, stop putting stuff on the rim of the bowl or plate. The rim should be 100% clean. No fingerprints. No oils. No herbs. No sauces. I don't care what the dish is, the entire rim should be clean. It is no longer the 90's, stop sprinkling parsley all over the rim of my plate. Its tacky and messy looking.
Unless you ordered cold food, such as a cold soup or salad, all of your food should be piping hot. This means it was just made, not sitting around waiting for someone to order it.
Every single bite of food should be fresh. I know chain restaurants have to have their stuff shipped in frozen to maintain a "standard", but it doesn't mean it should taste like it was heated up in a microwave. The perfect example is Olive Garden. Have you had their bread sticks? They taste the EXACT same as the Great Value frozen garlic bread sticks at Walmart. Only saltier. Someone needs to take away their garlic salt. Seriously. No one likes that nasty crap. Garlic is cheap, people. Chop some up, put it and REAL butter in a pot and let them meld together on a low heat. Then brush the butter on the bread. The flavor is so much better!
Meat should be juicy. Marbling on a steak is fantastic! Hunks of fat are disgusting. All fat should be trimmed from chicken. Chicken fat is some of the nastiest shit you could get. No one wants that. Hell, no one wants fat surrounding their meat. No matter what meat I order, if I have to cut fat off the outside of it just to get to the actual meat, you can bet I won't eat it.
Vegetables should not be mushy. Green vegetables should not be that weird Army green. This means they were over cooked. This means they have little to no dietary benefit. This means they should be sent back.
I know a lot of people that won't send back food for fear of what the server or cook will do to it. When you walk into any dining establishment, there should be a Health Code grade displayed. If its hidden somewhere to the point that you can't immediately see it, walk out. If the score is below an 85, walk out. If you don't see a "ServSafe Certification" sign anywhere, walk out. I am ServeSafe certified. This means I know at what temperature foods should be held before, during and after being cooked. I know what diseases are contracted from what foods. I know to what temperature every food should be cooked to to properly kill bacteria (I completely ignore it when I order my rare steak!). I also know proper cleaning and sanitizing procedures, not only for me but also for foods, food preparation surfaces, floors, dishes, cookware, ranges, grills, friers, ovens, hoods, ect. That means I know how to keep a standard to prevent food poisoning.
Is your waitress/waiter smacking gum, taking a long time to get to you, or have an attitude or keeps chatting with coworkers/patrons with complete disreguard for their customers? Then they may do something to your food because they don't care about their job.
Do you see other tables sending back food? Then you probably won't be happy with yours either. Its usually a sign of cooks that also don't care about the quality of the food they're putting out.
There is a huge difference between a cook and a chef. Don't let titles fool you. A chef is passionate about the products they produce and will do everything in their power to make you happy. A cook, even if they have culinary training, doesn't give a damn. And it won't take long to see the difference.
One last thing. Stop going to all of those chain places. Look for a hole in the wall spot. They are usually producing some of the best foods you've ever had. If you see a place you'd like to try, look them up online. If they have fewer than 3 restaurants, check out their reviews. Then try them for yourself. Sometimes they're amazing and you wonder why you never tried them before. Sometimes you wonder how the hell they're still open! I've had both experiences. And one of those places is one of my absolute favorites! The one where I had THE WORST SERVICE AND FOOD OF ALL TIME, they are now out of business. They were also left the tip "Your "chef" should learn to cook"
First off, stop putting stuff on the rim of the bowl or plate. The rim should be 100% clean. No fingerprints. No oils. No herbs. No sauces. I don't care what the dish is, the entire rim should be clean. It is no longer the 90's, stop sprinkling parsley all over the rim of my plate. Its tacky and messy looking.
Unless you ordered cold food, such as a cold soup or salad, all of your food should be piping hot. This means it was just made, not sitting around waiting for someone to order it.
Every single bite of food should be fresh. I know chain restaurants have to have their stuff shipped in frozen to maintain a "standard", but it doesn't mean it should taste like it was heated up in a microwave. The perfect example is Olive Garden. Have you had their bread sticks? They taste the EXACT same as the Great Value frozen garlic bread sticks at Walmart. Only saltier. Someone needs to take away their garlic salt. Seriously. No one likes that nasty crap. Garlic is cheap, people. Chop some up, put it and REAL butter in a pot and let them meld together on a low heat. Then brush the butter on the bread. The flavor is so much better!
Meat should be juicy. Marbling on a steak is fantastic! Hunks of fat are disgusting. All fat should be trimmed from chicken. Chicken fat is some of the nastiest shit you could get. No one wants that. Hell, no one wants fat surrounding their meat. No matter what meat I order, if I have to cut fat off the outside of it just to get to the actual meat, you can bet I won't eat it.
Vegetables should not be mushy. Green vegetables should not be that weird Army green. This means they were over cooked. This means they have little to no dietary benefit. This means they should be sent back.
I know a lot of people that won't send back food for fear of what the server or cook will do to it. When you walk into any dining establishment, there should be a Health Code grade displayed. If its hidden somewhere to the point that you can't immediately see it, walk out. If the score is below an 85, walk out. If you don't see a "ServSafe Certification" sign anywhere, walk out. I am ServeSafe certified. This means I know at what temperature foods should be held before, during and after being cooked. I know what diseases are contracted from what foods. I know to what temperature every food should be cooked to to properly kill bacteria (I completely ignore it when I order my rare steak!). I also know proper cleaning and sanitizing procedures, not only for me but also for foods, food preparation surfaces, floors, dishes, cookware, ranges, grills, friers, ovens, hoods, ect. That means I know how to keep a standard to prevent food poisoning.
Is your waitress/waiter smacking gum, taking a long time to get to you, or have an attitude or keeps chatting with coworkers/patrons with complete disreguard for their customers? Then they may do something to your food because they don't care about their job.
Do you see other tables sending back food? Then you probably won't be happy with yours either. Its usually a sign of cooks that also don't care about the quality of the food they're putting out.
There is a huge difference between a cook and a chef. Don't let titles fool you. A chef is passionate about the products they produce and will do everything in their power to make you happy. A cook, even if they have culinary training, doesn't give a damn. And it won't take long to see the difference.
One last thing. Stop going to all of those chain places. Look for a hole in the wall spot. They are usually producing some of the best foods you've ever had. If you see a place you'd like to try, look them up online. If they have fewer than 3 restaurants, check out their reviews. Then try them for yourself. Sometimes they're amazing and you wonder why you never tried them before. Sometimes you wonder how the hell they're still open! I've had both experiences. And one of those places is one of my absolute favorites! The one where I had THE WORST SERVICE AND FOOD OF ALL TIME, they are now out of business. They were also left the tip "Your "chef" should learn to cook"
What grinds my gears
I've had a hankering for a salad lately. Not just any salad, but a Caesar salad. Its my favorite.
And while I was making it, I started thinking about all the Caesars I've had at different restaurants. And most of them just piss me off.
A Caesar salad is made with the light green/white part of the Romaine lettuce. Its a very crisp salad and therefore uses only the crisp part of the leaves.
The dressing should be on all the leaves, but should not be so thick as to make the leaf droop or overpower the freshness of the leaves.
Croutons no bigger than your thumbnail should be scattered throughout the salad.
There should be curls, or at the very least, shavings, of fresh Parmesan cheese topping the salad.
That is a Caesar salad. The dressing should be made from scratch, because the ingredients aren't very expensive and it taste a million times better than any bottled mess.
Isn't that simple?
Then why do so many people get it wrong?! Stop sending me a dark green salad weighed down with brown goop! Or a dark green salad with croutons the size of my ear, no dressing and extremely stale fake cheese on top!
Is that asking too much? I've made the salad myself a billion times, so I know how easy it is! Stop fucking it up!
And while we're on the subject, stop making any salad at all with HUGE pieces of lettuce, spinach, mescaline, frisse, or any other greens! Everything in a salad, including toppings, meats and other veggies, should all be fork friendly. That means you shouldn't have to cut it up in order to put it in your mouth. (exclusions can be at a fine dining restaurant where they bring, say, a Caesar salad where its rolled whole leaves of Romaine and its dressed properly for the sake of presentation-but this is rare)
Oh, and quit bringing me salads the size of my head unless it's my entree! If I'm having several courses, I don't want to fill up on salad and feel like I've wasted money on my main course. Stop bringing my salad before my appetizer. And if you see that we're still eating our appetizer, do not bring me my salad. Or if you've mixed up the order, wait until I've finished eating my salad before bringing my appetizer. And the table should be cleared off before setting my entree on the table.
Just because you are working at a family/casual dining restaurant, doesn't mean you can forget proper serving etiquette. You depend on tips, and to get a great tip from me, you better be on your game. I shouldn't go thirsty. I should go hungry. And I shouldn't have to wait until my meal is over before you finally decide to ask if I want the bill. Before I'm through eating you should ask if I want dessert or coffee. If I say no, then bring me the bill! It should be my choice of when I leave, not whenever you feel like doing your job!
I've waited tables. I know what its like to be slammed, and I know what its like to have a super sluggish night. And I know how to keep every customer feeling like they are my top priority. I won't hesitate to give you a 1 cent tip to show you how horrible you are at your job.
I also won't hesitate to give you a 20% tip if you're on your game!
And while I was making it, I started thinking about all the Caesars I've had at different restaurants. And most of them just piss me off.
A Caesar salad is made with the light green/white part of the Romaine lettuce. Its a very crisp salad and therefore uses only the crisp part of the leaves.
The dressing should be on all the leaves, but should not be so thick as to make the leaf droop or overpower the freshness of the leaves.
Croutons no bigger than your thumbnail should be scattered throughout the salad.
There should be curls, or at the very least, shavings, of fresh Parmesan cheese topping the salad.
That is a Caesar salad. The dressing should be made from scratch, because the ingredients aren't very expensive and it taste a million times better than any bottled mess.
Isn't that simple?
Then why do so many people get it wrong?! Stop sending me a dark green salad weighed down with brown goop! Or a dark green salad with croutons the size of my ear, no dressing and extremely stale fake cheese on top!
Is that asking too much? I've made the salad myself a billion times, so I know how easy it is! Stop fucking it up!
And while we're on the subject, stop making any salad at all with HUGE pieces of lettuce, spinach, mescaline, frisse, or any other greens! Everything in a salad, including toppings, meats and other veggies, should all be fork friendly. That means you shouldn't have to cut it up in order to put it in your mouth. (exclusions can be at a fine dining restaurant where they bring, say, a Caesar salad where its rolled whole leaves of Romaine and its dressed properly for the sake of presentation-but this is rare)
Oh, and quit bringing me salads the size of my head unless it's my entree! If I'm having several courses, I don't want to fill up on salad and feel like I've wasted money on my main course. Stop bringing my salad before my appetizer. And if you see that we're still eating our appetizer, do not bring me my salad. Or if you've mixed up the order, wait until I've finished eating my salad before bringing my appetizer. And the table should be cleared off before setting my entree on the table.
Just because you are working at a family/casual dining restaurant, doesn't mean you can forget proper serving etiquette. You depend on tips, and to get a great tip from me, you better be on your game. I shouldn't go thirsty. I should go hungry. And I shouldn't have to wait until my meal is over before you finally decide to ask if I want the bill. Before I'm through eating you should ask if I want dessert or coffee. If I say no, then bring me the bill! It should be my choice of when I leave, not whenever you feel like doing your job!
I've waited tables. I know what its like to be slammed, and I know what its like to have a super sluggish night. And I know how to keep every customer feeling like they are my top priority. I won't hesitate to give you a 1 cent tip to show you how horrible you are at your job.
I also won't hesitate to give you a 20% tip if you're on your game!
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Weightloss
Well, last week I didn't post and it was stressful as hell. This week isn't shaping up any better. I did lose 2 pounds, but I think I've gained it back. So my goal is to lose 4 to 6 pounds by next Tuesday to get me back on track.
What a day
So yesterday was my son's very first field trip. He begged me to go. His reason?
"Cause I love you"
Who can say no to that?
I wanted to say no. I kept going back anf forth with it. Eventually I decided to go, and I took my mom and daughter with me.
It was fun. We went to a farm, the kids pet the animals and learned about how pumpkins grow and all that.
Then I left there, and was trying to get on home so that I could get my daughter fed and down for a nap before I had to pick Ian up from school. I admit I sped. And I got pulled over.
No biggie.
But it was a county cop, then all of a sudden a state patrolman came up to my truck too. He very kindly reinstalled Sorcha's car seat. I thought that was nice of him.
Then I got called to their car...
I was fucking ARRESTED!
They told me my licenses were suspended! I had no clue!
So I was cuffed and carted off to jail. They told me that it was a ticket that I didn't pay from 2007. I told them I knew exactly what they were talking about, and I HAD paid it. TWICE!
At the jail I was explaining it to the clerk and the booking officer (they were all very nice) and they didn't understand how I was still being charged.
It was a super scary ordeal, and I was so thankful to walk out of that place.
So I got home and we looked it up. The Department of Driver Services showed one citation on my driving record. I have the recipt from where I paid it. So I called them first thing this morning and they said that it was the ticket I got back in 2007. So I looked in my receipts, and TA-FUCKING-DA I have the "Notice of Withdrawal of Suspension" dated 2 days before they "suspended" my license.
So I had to go down there and show them the paper. They apologized and corrected THEIR mistake.
But I'm still out $250, and have a record on file, and have to go to court, AND am still being charged $1930.
So now I have to go to the court and straighten them out so that all I have to pay is my speeding ticket.
Why am I having to run all over creation and bust my ass when it was their fuck up?
Needless to say, it was a shitty start to the week.
"Cause I love you"
Who can say no to that?
I wanted to say no. I kept going back anf forth with it. Eventually I decided to go, and I took my mom and daughter with me.
It was fun. We went to a farm, the kids pet the animals and learned about how pumpkins grow and all that.
Then I left there, and was trying to get on home so that I could get my daughter fed and down for a nap before I had to pick Ian up from school. I admit I sped. And I got pulled over.
No biggie.
But it was a county cop, then all of a sudden a state patrolman came up to my truck too. He very kindly reinstalled Sorcha's car seat. I thought that was nice of him.
Then I got called to their car...
I was fucking ARRESTED!
They told me my licenses were suspended! I had no clue!
So I was cuffed and carted off to jail. They told me that it was a ticket that I didn't pay from 2007. I told them I knew exactly what they were talking about, and I HAD paid it. TWICE!
At the jail I was explaining it to the clerk and the booking officer (they were all very nice) and they didn't understand how I was still being charged.
It was a super scary ordeal, and I was so thankful to walk out of that place.
So I got home and we looked it up. The Department of Driver Services showed one citation on my driving record. I have the recipt from where I paid it. So I called them first thing this morning and they said that it was the ticket I got back in 2007. So I looked in my receipts, and TA-FUCKING-DA I have the "Notice of Withdrawal of Suspension" dated 2 days before they "suspended" my license.
So I had to go down there and show them the paper. They apologized and corrected THEIR mistake.
But I'm still out $250, and have a record on file, and have to go to court, AND am still being charged $1930.
So now I have to go to the court and straighten them out so that all I have to pay is my speeding ticket.
Why am I having to run all over creation and bust my ass when it was their fuck up?
Needless to say, it was a shitty start to the week.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Fall Festival
Yesterday I was part of my son's school's Fall Festival. It was my first big event!
I worked my ass off every single day last week making crafts and food for it. I had such high hopes of making a killing!
It was a flop.
The best thing about it was I was able to really get my name out there and people seemed really excited about how delicious my food is. And I even had repeat customers!
But I didn't sell even half of what I thought I would, I got very sunburned, even though I was sitting in the shade, and my son decided to run off and then my daughter did.
My husband and I took the kids down to tell the announcer that we were marking everything to half off (so we could get more business) and we let the kids get in a bouncey house. Well we stood beside it and Jason let me look at a video of Ian climbing the rock wall (my 5 year old is a dare devil and went all the way to the top!) and then we told the kids to come out so we could go back to the booth (my mom was watching it for me). But only Sorcha was in there.
We went around to all the bouncy houses, the rock wall, pony rides, train, all of it looking for him. Then Jason was yelling for him. Know where he was? UP AT MY BOOTH! It was a terrifying experience. Apparently he didn't see us standing in the front of the bouncy house, so he took it upon himself to go looking for us. Leaving his not even 22 month old sister to fend for herself.
He got a whipping. And yelled at. And a hug.
And I had to force myself not to cry.
Then Sorcha ran away from my mom and was trying to get to the play area. Thankfully Mom caught her before she went too far.
I swear, my kids are gonna make me old before I hit 30! (Which, btw, I just turned 27 last week. And I feel 40)
I worked my ass off every single day last week making crafts and food for it. I had such high hopes of making a killing!
It was a flop.
The best thing about it was I was able to really get my name out there and people seemed really excited about how delicious my food is. And I even had repeat customers!
But I didn't sell even half of what I thought I would, I got very sunburned, even though I was sitting in the shade, and my son decided to run off and then my daughter did.
My husband and I took the kids down to tell the announcer that we were marking everything to half off (so we could get more business) and we let the kids get in a bouncey house. Well we stood beside it and Jason let me look at a video of Ian climbing the rock wall (my 5 year old is a dare devil and went all the way to the top!) and then we told the kids to come out so we could go back to the booth (my mom was watching it for me). But only Sorcha was in there.
We went around to all the bouncy houses, the rock wall, pony rides, train, all of it looking for him. Then Jason was yelling for him. Know where he was? UP AT MY BOOTH! It was a terrifying experience. Apparently he didn't see us standing in the front of the bouncy house, so he took it upon himself to go looking for us. Leaving his not even 22 month old sister to fend for herself.
He got a whipping. And yelled at. And a hug.
And I had to force myself not to cry.
Then Sorcha ran away from my mom and was trying to get to the play area. Thankfully Mom caught her before she went too far.
I swear, my kids are gonna make me old before I hit 30! (Which, btw, I just turned 27 last week. And I feel 40)
Funny tidbit
Thursday I was at my son's school and the kids had to listen to some bus safety stuff so his teacher and I got to talk.
We were putting some of the kid's craft projects up on the wall outside the classroom and she was using hot glue to do it. She told me-
"This is illegal. We're only supposed to use that brown tape, but its useless. Or as my daughter would say "Its as useless as a white crayon on a white piece of paper"."
I found the remark slightly amusing. But then she told me her daughter (an 8th grader) was sent to the office for saying it because her teacher said it was a "RACIAL SLUR"!!!!!
The principal, a black man, said "I have no idea why your daughter is in my office. She did nothing wrong."
What in fuck's name is wrong with people? How have people become so afraid of hurting someone's feelings that they take the most innocent of things and turn it into something wrong or mean to try and brainwash others into thinking they are bad or have done something bad? Cause that's exactly what school are trying to do. Brainwash our kids into being too afraid to mention color, no matter the context.
Get a grip people, and open your eyes! This country is turning into a scared little kid.
We were putting some of the kid's craft projects up on the wall outside the classroom and she was using hot glue to do it. She told me-
"This is illegal. We're only supposed to use that brown tape, but its useless. Or as my daughter would say "Its as useless as a white crayon on a white piece of paper"."
I found the remark slightly amusing. But then she told me her daughter (an 8th grader) was sent to the office for saying it because her teacher said it was a "RACIAL SLUR"!!!!!
The principal, a black man, said "I have no idea why your daughter is in my office. She did nothing wrong."
What in fuck's name is wrong with people? How have people become so afraid of hurting someone's feelings that they take the most innocent of things and turn it into something wrong or mean to try and brainwash others into thinking they are bad or have done something bad? Cause that's exactly what school are trying to do. Brainwash our kids into being too afraid to mention color, no matter the context.
Get a grip people, and open your eyes! This country is turning into a scared little kid.
Ok, so I missed my last "weigh-in"
Sorry I've been MIA. Its been a crazy week.
I'm not going to post my progress (or lack there of) today, still going to wait until Tuesday. Just letting y'all know I haven't forgotten, I've just been swamped.
I'm not going to post my progress (or lack there of) today, still going to wait until Tuesday. Just letting y'all know I haven't forgotten, I've just been swamped.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
My students
Every Thursday I have the honor of helping my son's class with their Language Arts groups. I get 2 groups of 4 students that rotate.
My first group is Surj, Warren, Poala, and Yustin.
This group started out pretty much at the bottom. They didn't know their letters or sounds. They could barely write their names. But as the weeks have passed, I have been able to see their progress.
I am so proud of them!
Today, Surj was the first done, while Warren and Poala were racing each other to see who could get through first. They were working so hard and barely needed my help to sort pictures into the boxes of their beginning letters. And Surj took it upon himself to assist Yustin with his work. They were finished and cleaning up before it was time to switch groups, which was the first time they have ever done that! It made me want to hug them, I was so happy!
My second group consists of Ian (my son), Zanji, Serena (the tiniest little girl!), and Messiah. When Ian started kindergarten, it was the first time in his life he had ever had to be in a routine. His first 2 weeks were really hard on him because he wasn't allowed to do what he wanted, when he wanted. But now he is doing so wonderful! He doesn't need assistance on his work, and he's working faster than ever (he has issues with wanting to watch others and chit chat instead of doing his work, but he's finally learning that he can get his work done quickly, then move on to the fun stuff) Zanji and Serena have always been my smart kids. They love talking, and working together. And they're both just so sweet.
Messiah...well, Messiah is one of those cases that is the perfect example of how disruption at home makes for a disruptive child. (he's told me "Daddy sleeps on the couch all the time) All the kids tell me "Messiah is a bad kid!" Messiah is always getting in trouble!" and it makes me feel so bad for him. I know it hurts his feelings. He's the "new" kid and I think he feels like an outsider. So I am trying to work with him on focusing on his work and changing the way the kids see him. I tell them its not nice to call someone a "bad kid". I tell him that he show show people what a good boy he can be. I have to constantly steer his attention to his work. It can be very frustrating, but I try to use as much positive reinforcement as possible. And I think I may be getting through to him in the smallest way. He was the last one finished with his work, but the teacher told me that it was the first thing he's finished today.
I didn't think they would, but these kids are growing on me. I get excited about helping them. I want to give them the encouragement that will help them strive for scholastic success. And I'm so honored to have this opportunity.
My first group is Surj, Warren, Poala, and Yustin.
This group started out pretty much at the bottom. They didn't know their letters or sounds. They could barely write their names. But as the weeks have passed, I have been able to see their progress.
I am so proud of them!
Today, Surj was the first done, while Warren and Poala were racing each other to see who could get through first. They were working so hard and barely needed my help to sort pictures into the boxes of their beginning letters. And Surj took it upon himself to assist Yustin with his work. They were finished and cleaning up before it was time to switch groups, which was the first time they have ever done that! It made me want to hug them, I was so happy!
My second group consists of Ian (my son), Zanji, Serena (the tiniest little girl!), and Messiah. When Ian started kindergarten, it was the first time in his life he had ever had to be in a routine. His first 2 weeks were really hard on him because he wasn't allowed to do what he wanted, when he wanted. But now he is doing so wonderful! He doesn't need assistance on his work, and he's working faster than ever (he has issues with wanting to watch others and chit chat instead of doing his work, but he's finally learning that he can get his work done quickly, then move on to the fun stuff) Zanji and Serena have always been my smart kids. They love talking, and working together. And they're both just so sweet.
Messiah...well, Messiah is one of those cases that is the perfect example of how disruption at home makes for a disruptive child. (he's told me "Daddy sleeps on the couch all the time) All the kids tell me "Messiah is a bad kid!" Messiah is always getting in trouble!" and it makes me feel so bad for him. I know it hurts his feelings. He's the "new" kid and I think he feels like an outsider. So I am trying to work with him on focusing on his work and changing the way the kids see him. I tell them its not nice to call someone a "bad kid". I tell him that he show show people what a good boy he can be. I have to constantly steer his attention to his work. It can be very frustrating, but I try to use as much positive reinforcement as possible. And I think I may be getting through to him in the smallest way. He was the last one finished with his work, but the teacher told me that it was the first thing he's finished today.
I didn't think they would, but these kids are growing on me. I get excited about helping them. I want to give them the encouragement that will help them strive for scholastic success. And I'm so honored to have this opportunity.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
More ignorance
Someone on my fb friend's list posted this picture and called it RACIST.
Racist.
Am I the only person that thinks this is a classic example of people TRYING to find anything to complain about? Am I the last sane person in this world?
How the fuck is this racist? I see 4 people who are smiling and nicely dressed.
I see 2 boxes of cereal.
I see that they didn't include my favorite flavor. Cinnamon. I fucking love cinnamon.
But people posted on this picture saying its a classic case of people showing insensitivity.
Really?
This is insensitive?
I think it would be insensitive it the black kids were shown sitting on a porch with ragged clothing, no shoes, nappy hair, and their single mother with her hair in curlers.
That could be called racist.
Or if they never used any race other than white.
Pick your battles people. A box of cereal is not racist.
You are.
1 Week Measurements
Weight- 275 lbs
Bust- 49"
Waist- 39"
Hips- 53"
Thighs- 31.5"
Calves- 17"
Ankles- 10"
Biceps- 17"
Wrist- 7"
Ring Size- 9
So without changing my diet (I've been really bad!) just started doing some exercises every day, I've lost 2 pounds, 1 inch off my waist, 1 inch off my hips, and half an inch off my thighs. Its progress. Not much progress, but its something.
My husband and I were talking the other day and have decided to put a bet in place on our weight loss. The first one of us to lose 50 pounds (half of our goal) gets to choose an activity for themselves or the family that the other cannot say no to, and the other has to do whatever the winner wants for 3 days.
I WILL WIN!
Bust- 49"
Waist- 39"
Hips- 53"
Thighs- 31.5"
Calves- 17"
Ankles- 10"
Biceps- 17"
Wrist- 7"
Ring Size- 9
So without changing my diet (I've been really bad!) just started doing some exercises every day, I've lost 2 pounds, 1 inch off my waist, 1 inch off my hips, and half an inch off my thighs. Its progress. Not much progress, but its something.
My husband and I were talking the other day and have decided to put a bet in place on our weight loss. The first one of us to lose 50 pounds (half of our goal) gets to choose an activity for themselves or the family that the other cannot say no to, and the other has to do whatever the winner wants for 3 days.
I WILL WIN!
Is it racist?
A friend of mine recently came under attack on Facebook for a comment she made.
She said that was was out somewhere and was being gawked at and told the man "What the hell are you looking at? Damn Mexican"
Two people on her friends list went on and on how she was being racist and offensive. One said that she will soon have a Mexican nephew and that my friend needs to watch what she says. Then she went on to post my friend's previous posts about comments her 5 year old son says and using that to make her point on how racist she is.
But the fact was, none of it was racist. Mentioning a person's race to describe them or to ask a question about them doesn't make you racist. And its hardly appropriate to call an innocent 5 year old racist. My son calls our friend from Africa "black guy" cause he can't pronounce his name, and our friend finds it funny. He doesn't saying it in a mean way, its just what he sees.
I have never been offended by being called white, American, Christian, Southern, or any other true descriptive term. Even plus sized. Guess what, I AM WHITE, AMERICAN, CHRISTIAN, SOUTHERN, and PLUS SIZED!! I'm proud of it. So why should a Mexican be offended by being called a Mexican? Or a black person being referred to as "the black man/woman? Or any other race or religion.
And I don't understand how someone of one race could be offended by hearing another race being called out. That is the most absurd thing I have ever heard. And if you were born here in the States, you ARE NOT considered a Mexican, an African-American or whatever else. You are an AMERICAN. I'm pretty sure blacks in Germany don't refer to themselves as African Germans.
Accept who you really are and stop trying to make yourself seem like something you aren't. And stop trying to be a victim!
I'm not sitting over here bitching and moaning about how the English raped and murdered and tortured and pillaged the Scots for hundreds of years. I'm not claiming they owe my family restitution because we had to flee Scotland and come to America for a better life. So why are whites still being blamed for all the hardships of every other race? If white Europeans could overcome all the hell they had to go through to build this country, and actually win its freedom, and did it by pulling together, don't you think your race should be able to do the same?
Hey blacks, if you're sick of being labeled "thugs", "violent", "niggers", or being classified as people who are lazy, will never do anything but spit out illegitimate kids for more welfare money, or have so many of your men in prisons, THEN WORK ON CHANGING IT! It isn't a stereotype anymore. Its statistics!
If Hispanics are sick of being labeled "illegal immigrants" then get your fucking citizenship! Stop expecting the same freedoms and assistance and healthcare as actual Americans just because you jumped our border. Those that actually worked for their citizenship hate you as much as those born on American soil.
Jews, don't want to be labeld as cheap whiners Then stop being cheap whiners.
The list goes on and on and on. If you don't like the stereotypes, then change them! And stop calling people racist just because you don't like hearing the truth.
She said that was was out somewhere and was being gawked at and told the man "What the hell are you looking at? Damn Mexican"
Two people on her friends list went on and on how she was being racist and offensive. One said that she will soon have a Mexican nephew and that my friend needs to watch what she says. Then she went on to post my friend's previous posts about comments her 5 year old son says and using that to make her point on how racist she is.
But the fact was, none of it was racist. Mentioning a person's race to describe them or to ask a question about them doesn't make you racist. And its hardly appropriate to call an innocent 5 year old racist. My son calls our friend from Africa "black guy" cause he can't pronounce his name, and our friend finds it funny. He doesn't saying it in a mean way, its just what he sees.
I have never been offended by being called white, American, Christian, Southern, or any other true descriptive term. Even plus sized. Guess what, I AM WHITE, AMERICAN, CHRISTIAN, SOUTHERN, and PLUS SIZED!! I'm proud of it. So why should a Mexican be offended by being called a Mexican? Or a black person being referred to as "the black man/woman? Or any other race or religion.
And I don't understand how someone of one race could be offended by hearing another race being called out. That is the most absurd thing I have ever heard. And if you were born here in the States, you ARE NOT considered a Mexican, an African-American or whatever else. You are an AMERICAN. I'm pretty sure blacks in Germany don't refer to themselves as African Germans.
Accept who you really are and stop trying to make yourself seem like something you aren't. And stop trying to be a victim!
I'm not sitting over here bitching and moaning about how the English raped and murdered and tortured and pillaged the Scots for hundreds of years. I'm not claiming they owe my family restitution because we had to flee Scotland and come to America for a better life. So why are whites still being blamed for all the hardships of every other race? If white Europeans could overcome all the hell they had to go through to build this country, and actually win its freedom, and did it by pulling together, don't you think your race should be able to do the same?
Hey blacks, if you're sick of being labeled "thugs", "violent", "niggers", or being classified as people who are lazy, will never do anything but spit out illegitimate kids for more welfare money, or have so many of your men in prisons, THEN WORK ON CHANGING IT! It isn't a stereotype anymore. Its statistics!
If Hispanics are sick of being labeled "illegal immigrants" then get your fucking citizenship! Stop expecting the same freedoms and assistance and healthcare as actual Americans just because you jumped our border. Those that actually worked for their citizenship hate you as much as those born on American soil.
Jews, don't want to be labeld as cheap whiners Then stop being cheap whiners.
The list goes on and on and on. If you don't like the stereotypes, then change them! And stop calling people racist just because you don't like hearing the truth.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Rules of the Road
I know living in a town so close to Atlanta means that we will constantly come into contact with dumb drivers. Its only natural to have bad drivers when there are so many people on the interstate.
My problem is, on the back roads, while taking my 5 year old to school, there are absolute IDIOTIC people on the roads.
I shouldn't have to tell people, who are very obviously older than i am, that they have the right of way at a 4 way stop. And I shouldn't almost wreck because some fuck up doesn't realize it isn't their turn to go!
When you come to a 4 way stop and there are other vehicles, the first person to the stop sign has the right of way, then its in a counter clockwise order.
When you see that the main road way has been blocked, do not stop. There is another way around the blockade. Go that way.
If you don't know what the fuck you are doing while you're driving, turn on your blinker or flashers, and pull off the road onto the shoulder.
Never pull out in front of someone and then ride your breaks.
Never ride your breaks.
Stop acting like a fucking moron on the road.
My problem is, on the back roads, while taking my 5 year old to school, there are absolute IDIOTIC people on the roads.
I shouldn't have to tell people, who are very obviously older than i am, that they have the right of way at a 4 way stop. And I shouldn't almost wreck because some fuck up doesn't realize it isn't their turn to go!
When you come to a 4 way stop and there are other vehicles, the first person to the stop sign has the right of way, then its in a counter clockwise order.
When you see that the main road way has been blocked, do not stop. There is another way around the blockade. Go that way.
If you don't know what the fuck you are doing while you're driving, turn on your blinker or flashers, and pull off the road onto the shoulder.
Never pull out in front of someone and then ride your breaks.
Never ride your breaks.
Stop acting like a fucking moron on the road.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Ow. Ow. Ow.
Pretty sure I over did my workout yesterday. I didn't do the Zumba, but I lifted more weights and did some muscle building exercises.
Today I am so freaking sore. So I'm going to do cardio and stretches today.
Good thing I have a lot of Biofreeze.
Today I am so freaking sore. So I'm going to do cardio and stretches today.
Good thing I have a lot of Biofreeze.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
My starting measurements
This is to keep track of my measurements during my weightloss.
Weight: 277 lbs
Bust: 49"
Waist: 40"
Hips: 54"
Thighs: 32"
Calves: 16.5"
Ankle: 10.5"
Biceps: 17"
Wrist: 7"
Ring size: 9
Well, at least my waist is still smaller than my chest and my hips... :(
Weight: 277 lbs
Bust: 49"
Waist: 40"
Hips: 54"
Thighs: 32"
Calves: 16.5"
Ankle: 10.5"
Biceps: 17"
Wrist: 7"
Ring size: 9
Well, at least my waist is still smaller than my chest and my hips... :(
"Uncle"
Just a quick post.
Single moms, stop bringing random men around your children and having them call the men "Uncle".
There is an absolutely precious little boy in my son's class. He's quiet, intelligent and sticks very close to me whenever I'm in their class.
Last week, while I had him in my group (I help out in their class every Thursday for their language arts groups) the kids got to talking about their families. I know everyone's siblings names, their parents, where they live and all that (parents, please explain to your kids not to give directions to your house to a stranger).
After everyone told me their mom's name, we went around the circle and said dad's name. "Z" said his dad's name is "Uncle". He has lots of "Uncles" and "Papas".
It broke my heart.
Women, you can't force a man to stay in your life. You can't force a man to be a father. But you can be the best mother to your child(ren).
This goes back to knowing who you are, knowing what you're worth, and not having to depend on anyone for anything. Be there for your kids and stop confusing them. Stop letting them doubt your love. Stop letting them think that other people come before them.
Your child should be your world. And if they aren't, then you're doing it wrong.
Single moms, stop bringing random men around your children and having them call the men "Uncle".
There is an absolutely precious little boy in my son's class. He's quiet, intelligent and sticks very close to me whenever I'm in their class.
Last week, while I had him in my group (I help out in their class every Thursday for their language arts groups) the kids got to talking about their families. I know everyone's siblings names, their parents, where they live and all that (parents, please explain to your kids not to give directions to your house to a stranger).
After everyone told me their mom's name, we went around the circle and said dad's name. "Z" said his dad's name is "Uncle". He has lots of "Uncles" and "Papas".
It broke my heart.
Women, you can't force a man to stay in your life. You can't force a man to be a father. But you can be the best mother to your child(ren).
This goes back to knowing who you are, knowing what you're worth, and not having to depend on anyone for anything. Be there for your kids and stop confusing them. Stop letting them doubt your love. Stop letting them think that other people come before them.
Your child should be your world. And if they aren't, then you're doing it wrong.
OH NO! A BREASTFEEDER!
Eeeeek! Hide your kids! There's a woman whipping out her boob to give her child a meal!
I am a PROUD breast feeding mom. I nursed my son until he weaned himself at 10 months, and I am currently nursing my daughter who just turned 21 months.
I think breastfeeding is the best possible thing you could do for your child, and I will gladly stand up for my, and your, right to nurse until our nipples fall off.
I will not stop nursing just because it makes someone uncomfortable. Don't like it? Don't look.
That being said, I'm sick of nursing. I enjoy the time with my daughter. I am glad I have had this long to give her such a great start to life. The first 7 months of her life, she received nothing but the boob. No pacy. No bottle.
After than she nursed and ate homemade baby food (I'm a chef, what do you expect?) I have never once bought formula for my kids. And I am so blessed to be able to say that.
But I want my boobs back. I want a full night of sleep. I want to be able to get work done without Sorcha screaming bloody murder while hanging from my leg wanting "mulk pessssssssssss". I have been trying to slowly wean her for the past 2 months, but its not working.
But when people tell me "Its time you stop" or "Don't you think that will ruin her teeth?" or any other way of telling me how to raise my child, it makes me want to continue for the next 5 years.
By the way, nursing actually washes away germs in the mouth and is perfectly healthy for teeth.
I am a PROUD breast feeding mom. I nursed my son until he weaned himself at 10 months, and I am currently nursing my daughter who just turned 21 months.
I think breastfeeding is the best possible thing you could do for your child, and I will gladly stand up for my, and your, right to nurse until our nipples fall off.
I will not stop nursing just because it makes someone uncomfortable. Don't like it? Don't look.
That being said, I'm sick of nursing. I enjoy the time with my daughter. I am glad I have had this long to give her such a great start to life. The first 7 months of her life, she received nothing but the boob. No pacy. No bottle.
After than she nursed and ate homemade baby food (I'm a chef, what do you expect?) I have never once bought formula for my kids. And I am so blessed to be able to say that.
But I want my boobs back. I want a full night of sleep. I want to be able to get work done without Sorcha screaming bloody murder while hanging from my leg wanting "mulk pessssssssssss". I have been trying to slowly wean her for the past 2 months, but its not working.
But when people tell me "Its time you stop" or "Don't you think that will ruin her teeth?" or any other way of telling me how to raise my child, it makes me want to continue for the next 5 years.
By the way, nursing actually washes away germs in the mouth and is perfectly healthy for teeth.
Heavy Lifting
If you don't personally know me, then let me enlighten you on my BIGGEST issue.
My weight.
I have never been super skinny. I have never wanted to be super skinny. But 10 years ago I did have a flat stomach. You could see my abdominal muscles without me sucking in. I had the most perfect hour glass figure.
I was SEXAY!
But I was 17.
And as I approach my 27th birthday, I realize that I am disgusted by what I see in the mirror. I know that fat chick isn't me. The way I look isn't who I am. (I know a feel people that need to realize that about themselves!!!)
In these ten, very very long years, I have packed on...get ready for it...one hundred pounds.
Its like I'm carrying around my youngest sister in law!
Last year, my husband, Jason, and I decided to make a pact and lose all of our excess weight. He's an ex-football player and in the same boat I'm in.
We changed our diets. Stopped eating out. We worked out EVERY DAY! He went to the gym and did P90X. I did Zumba daily.
We were looking fantastic! I was so proud of a progress and lifestyle change!
Then, we started making excuses.
"I'm too tired and busy, I'll work out tomorrow"
"Lets grab something quick since we're in town anyway"
"I don't feel like cooking, order pizza"
We gained all of the weight we had lost back, and then some. We are both now bigger than ever.
I'm sick of it. I know I can do it. I've done it before.
So, I'm going to do it again. And you're going to hold me responsible.
On October 11th, I will turn 27.
By October 11, 2012, I want to be at my goal weight.
No. I WILL be at my goal weight.
I worked out and lifted weights yesterday.
Today I did the P90X Ab Ripper, lifted weights, and when I get back from picking my son up from school, I'm going to do the 45 minute Zumba Cardio Party.
Over the next 2 weeks, I'm going to put my body through hell. This will be my "jump start" that most people replace with pills, cleanse diets, or fad diets.
I'm doing this the right way, and I'm going ALL THE WAY!
Starting weight (as of this morning) 277 pounds (shocking, I know)
I will post my weight once a week. And probably a picture of the scale as well to show I'm not cheating. And once I lose 30 pounds, I will post my "before" pics (already have them) and then my "progress pics" for every 10 pounds I lose.
My weight.
I have never been super skinny. I have never wanted to be super skinny. But 10 years ago I did have a flat stomach. You could see my abdominal muscles without me sucking in. I had the most perfect hour glass figure.
I was SEXAY!
But I was 17.
And as I approach my 27th birthday, I realize that I am disgusted by what I see in the mirror. I know that fat chick isn't me. The way I look isn't who I am. (I know a feel people that need to realize that about themselves!!!)
In these ten, very very long years, I have packed on...get ready for it...one hundred pounds.
Its like I'm carrying around my youngest sister in law!
Last year, my husband, Jason, and I decided to make a pact and lose all of our excess weight. He's an ex-football player and in the same boat I'm in.
We changed our diets. Stopped eating out. We worked out EVERY DAY! He went to the gym and did P90X. I did Zumba daily.
We were looking fantastic! I was so proud of a progress and lifestyle change!
Then, we started making excuses.
"I'm too tired and busy, I'll work out tomorrow"
"Lets grab something quick since we're in town anyway"
"I don't feel like cooking, order pizza"
We gained all of the weight we had lost back, and then some. We are both now bigger than ever.
I'm sick of it. I know I can do it. I've done it before.
So, I'm going to do it again. And you're going to hold me responsible.
On October 11th, I will turn 27.
By October 11, 2012, I want to be at my goal weight.
No. I WILL be at my goal weight.
I worked out and lifted weights yesterday.
Today I did the P90X Ab Ripper, lifted weights, and when I get back from picking my son up from school, I'm going to do the 45 minute Zumba Cardio Party.
Over the next 2 weeks, I'm going to put my body through hell. This will be my "jump start" that most people replace with pills, cleanse diets, or fad diets.
I'm doing this the right way, and I'm going ALL THE WAY!
Starting weight (as of this morning) 277 pounds (shocking, I know)
I will post my weight once a week. And probably a picture of the scale as well to show I'm not cheating. And once I lose 30 pounds, I will post my "before" pics (already have them) and then my "progress pics" for every 10 pounds I lose.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Why I think you're trash.
In the previous post I talked about bullying, so this may seem like a contradiction. But its not.
They say you can't judge a book by its cover. So I don't. I wait until I get to know people before I make an assessment of who they are.
And after extensive review, I have decided that a few certain women I know, are trashy sluts.
I am just head over heels in love with my husband. If I ever lost him, I couldn't imagine even thinking about being in another relationship. He is my soul mate and he completes my world. We have been though hell, and have come out of it stronger than ever.
I believe that every marriage should be like this.
Sadly, they aren't.
In the past4 years I hav know 3 different women, from 3 different backgrounds, walks of life, and faiths, that have shown me how shady a bitch can be.
All three women were married to, and had children by men who were diagnosed with cancer. All 3 men were young. All 3 men were devoted husbands and fathers who would have done anything for their families.
The first couple, he was a preacher. She was a preacher's daughter. They married young, and had 4 children before he was diagnosed with a brain tumor. While on his death bed, he had a vision from God and was given a list of names. He miraculously got better and was able to leave the hospital. And when he had the strength, he sat in the chair and waited for his "doting" wife to come home. He read off the list of names to her and asked her why God had given them to him.
She was sleeping with them all.
Sadly, he is no longer here, but was able to leave this world with a woman by his side that truly loved him.
Couple #2. They had a somewhat rocky marriage, and 3 children. He loved her dearly. But he was worried about her faithfulness while he was out of the state working. He thought he had the flu, and it didn't seem to be getting better, so he got checked out. At the age of 30, he was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. He wasn't even given a timeline. He quickly went down hill. Days after his death, his wife moved in with another man.
Couple #3. I've only spoke with her online. She showed every sign of a loving wife. We (our "mommy group") walked through her husband's cancer treatment for 2 years. It was heart breaking for us all when he passed. She even told us all of their last moment together (which still chokes me up!). But the next week she was telling us of how she was sleeping with "an old friend". Then she was going out to bars, and sleeping with a second guy. She was having men come over while her kids were asleep. And the last straw was her bragging about touching some strange man's dick while he danced for her. Her husband has only been buried for 2 months.
Am I the only person that sees something wrong with this? You married these men, and professed your undying love for them on several occasions, but jump into bed with another man the first chance you get? You, ma'am, are a trashy whore. I pity these men.
They say you can't judge a book by its cover. So I don't. I wait until I get to know people before I make an assessment of who they are.
And after extensive review, I have decided that a few certain women I know, are trashy sluts.
I am just head over heels in love with my husband. If I ever lost him, I couldn't imagine even thinking about being in another relationship. He is my soul mate and he completes my world. We have been though hell, and have come out of it stronger than ever.
I believe that every marriage should be like this.
Sadly, they aren't.
In the past4 years I hav know 3 different women, from 3 different backgrounds, walks of life, and faiths, that have shown me how shady a bitch can be.
All three women were married to, and had children by men who were diagnosed with cancer. All 3 men were young. All 3 men were devoted husbands and fathers who would have done anything for their families.
The first couple, he was a preacher. She was a preacher's daughter. They married young, and had 4 children before he was diagnosed with a brain tumor. While on his death bed, he had a vision from God and was given a list of names. He miraculously got better and was able to leave the hospital. And when he had the strength, he sat in the chair and waited for his "doting" wife to come home. He read off the list of names to her and asked her why God had given them to him.
She was sleeping with them all.
Sadly, he is no longer here, but was able to leave this world with a woman by his side that truly loved him.
Couple #2. They had a somewhat rocky marriage, and 3 children. He loved her dearly. But he was worried about her faithfulness while he was out of the state working. He thought he had the flu, and it didn't seem to be getting better, so he got checked out. At the age of 30, he was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. He wasn't even given a timeline. He quickly went down hill. Days after his death, his wife moved in with another man.
Couple #3. I've only spoke with her online. She showed every sign of a loving wife. We (our "mommy group") walked through her husband's cancer treatment for 2 years. It was heart breaking for us all when he passed. She even told us all of their last moment together (which still chokes me up!). But the next week she was telling us of how she was sleeping with "an old friend". Then she was going out to bars, and sleeping with a second guy. She was having men come over while her kids were asleep. And the last straw was her bragging about touching some strange man's dick while he danced for her. Her husband has only been buried for 2 months.
Am I the only person that sees something wrong with this? You married these men, and professed your undying love for them on several occasions, but jump into bed with another man the first chance you get? You, ma'am, are a trashy whore. I pity these men.
Bully This
Over the years there have been more and more talks about stopping bullying. And that's a good thing.
You should not bully people just because they're different, poor, unpopular, or because you think they're weak. That just proves you are an asshole.
I teach my son (and will teach my daughter as she gets older) that you never pick a fight with someone or put them down just because they're different than you. Its not funny. No one will think you're cool. You won't earn respect.
Being a bully is just dumb.
Now to those being bullied. Why won't you stand up for yourself? Why are you allowing someone to make you look weak? You get bullied once, its because you are being tested. You can walk away and act like its no big deal, even if it hurts your feelings. But don't let it happen twice. If someone thinks they can take advantage of you, they're going to keep doing it until you stand up for yourself and put them in their place.
If you aren't good at thinking on your feet, then remove yourself from the situation and think about every insult someone can throw at you. Then think of rebuttals.
If someone is assaulting you, and you can't fight, take self defense classes and beat their ass.
If its cyber bullying, then delete your account, create a new one and make it completely private. Don't add people to social networking sites that you don't know, or don't talk to in person. Don't cry because someone spreads lies about you. Everyone gets lied about. Stop dwelling on it.
If you're gay, stop getting all worked up cause someone is calling you a fag. They aren't worth killing yourself over.
Being a teenager is hard, and there are a ton of assholes in high school that are so bored with their lives that they want to start any drama they can. Those girls calling you a whore, are actually whores and want to take the focus off themselves. Trust me, in 10 years, they'll look 30 years older than their age, and no man is going to want them.
You get picked on cause you aren't blonde, tan and skinny? Guess what, you'll have beautiful skin for years to come because you aren't living in a tanning bed. Real men really do love curves (really). In fact, they'll do anything to be with a woman with curves. And blonde is so over rated. (red is where its at!)
Bottom line, stop worrying about what every one else thinks of you or says about you. You should be able to look in the mirror every morning and every night and say "I'm ______, and I'm better than those skanky bitches/worthless dickheads! And no one can change that, except me."
Take charge of your life. You run it. No one else.
You should not bully people just because they're different, poor, unpopular, or because you think they're weak. That just proves you are an asshole.
I teach my son (and will teach my daughter as she gets older) that you never pick a fight with someone or put them down just because they're different than you. Its not funny. No one will think you're cool. You won't earn respect.
Being a bully is just dumb.
Now to those being bullied. Why won't you stand up for yourself? Why are you allowing someone to make you look weak? You get bullied once, its because you are being tested. You can walk away and act like its no big deal, even if it hurts your feelings. But don't let it happen twice. If someone thinks they can take advantage of you, they're going to keep doing it until you stand up for yourself and put them in their place.
If you aren't good at thinking on your feet, then remove yourself from the situation and think about every insult someone can throw at you. Then think of rebuttals.
If someone is assaulting you, and you can't fight, take self defense classes and beat their ass.
If its cyber bullying, then delete your account, create a new one and make it completely private. Don't add people to social networking sites that you don't know, or don't talk to in person. Don't cry because someone spreads lies about you. Everyone gets lied about. Stop dwelling on it.
If you're gay, stop getting all worked up cause someone is calling you a fag. They aren't worth killing yourself over.
Being a teenager is hard, and there are a ton of assholes in high school that are so bored with their lives that they want to start any drama they can. Those girls calling you a whore, are actually whores and want to take the focus off themselves. Trust me, in 10 years, they'll look 30 years older than their age, and no man is going to want them.
You get picked on cause you aren't blonde, tan and skinny? Guess what, you'll have beautiful skin for years to come because you aren't living in a tanning bed. Real men really do love curves (really). In fact, they'll do anything to be with a woman with curves. And blonde is so over rated. (red is where its at!)
Bottom line, stop worrying about what every one else thinks of you or says about you. You should be able to look in the mirror every morning and every night and say "I'm ______, and I'm better than those skanky bitches/worthless dickheads! And no one can change that, except me."
Take charge of your life. You run it. No one else.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
THAT MAN!
I adore my husband. He treats me like an absolute queen. I get everything I want. I am spoiled rotten.
My husband treats me the way a wife SHOULD be treated. The way a WOMAN should be treated.
I am so sick of hearing about your man treating you like the dog shit he stepped in.
Your husband cheats on you all the time and tells you that marrying you was a mistake. Yet you sit there and say "I'm going to fight for him because I know he can be the man I married"
You're used constantly for your money, your car, your connections, whatever. You know he's using you, but you stay in the relationship because he MAY fall in love with you.
Am I missing something here?
I know I did stupid things and let guys walk on me when I was a teenager, BUT WE'RE ADULTS!
If that man aint treating you like a queen, HE NEVER FUCKING WILL!
He's not going to roll over one morning and say "Baby, you've been amazing, and I am so deeply in love with you. Thank you for all you've done"
You need to wake the fuck up. Take it from someone who's been there and seen tons of situations just like yours. Hell, I have a ton of guy friends that tell me all the shit they've done to females because the females LET THEM! My own husband did cruel things. Cause he could get away with it.
Why are you letting them get away with it? Why are you being a booty call? Why are you giving that asshole money? Why are you paying for all of his shit? Why are you letting him cheat?
WHY?!
I swear to God Almighty if I hear one more female say "Well I just can't be alone. This is better than being single" I will shoot you with a fork gun right in the face.
He is dragging you through hell by your hair, and you're letting him because you're WEAK. You are a weak, pathetic bitch. You are a disgrace to our sex. You're a disgrace to humans!
When are you going to realize that you'll never amount to anything until you grow some ovaries, pull your big girl panties up, and demand respect? YOU ONLY GET RESPECT WHEN YOU SHOW THAT YOU DESERVE IT.
YOU ONLY GET RESPECT WHEN YOU SHOW THAT YOU DESERVE IT.
Do I need to say it again?
Get rid of that shit head.
BE ALONE. Seriously, you CAN do it. Stop telling yourself that you can't. You're worth so much more, but only if you realize it.There is a man out there that wants nothing more than to worship the ground you walk on. But you need to figure out who you are and what you're worth. Because right now, you aren't worthy of him.
My husband treats me the way a wife SHOULD be treated. The way a WOMAN should be treated.
I am so sick of hearing about your man treating you like the dog shit he stepped in.
Your husband cheats on you all the time and tells you that marrying you was a mistake. Yet you sit there and say "I'm going to fight for him because I know he can be the man I married"
You're used constantly for your money, your car, your connections, whatever. You know he's using you, but you stay in the relationship because he MAY fall in love with you.
Am I missing something here?
I know I did stupid things and let guys walk on me when I was a teenager, BUT WE'RE ADULTS!
If that man aint treating you like a queen, HE NEVER FUCKING WILL!
He's not going to roll over one morning and say "Baby, you've been amazing, and I am so deeply in love with you. Thank you for all you've done"
You need to wake the fuck up. Take it from someone who's been there and seen tons of situations just like yours. Hell, I have a ton of guy friends that tell me all the shit they've done to females because the females LET THEM! My own husband did cruel things. Cause he could get away with it.
Why are you letting them get away with it? Why are you being a booty call? Why are you giving that asshole money? Why are you paying for all of his shit? Why are you letting him cheat?
WHY?!
I swear to God Almighty if I hear one more female say "Well I just can't be alone. This is better than being single" I will shoot you with a fork gun right in the face.
He is dragging you through hell by your hair, and you're letting him because you're WEAK. You are a weak, pathetic bitch. You are a disgrace to our sex. You're a disgrace to humans!
When are you going to realize that you'll never amount to anything until you grow some ovaries, pull your big girl panties up, and demand respect? YOU ONLY GET RESPECT WHEN YOU SHOW THAT YOU DESERVE IT.
YOU ONLY GET RESPECT WHEN YOU SHOW THAT YOU DESERVE IT.
Do I need to say it again?
Get rid of that shit head.
BE ALONE. Seriously, you CAN do it. Stop telling yourself that you can't. You're worth so much more, but only if you realize it.There is a man out there that wants nothing more than to worship the ground you walk on. But you need to figure out who you are and what you're worth. Because right now, you aren't worthy of him.
How can I be grateful?
I remember in the 7th grade, we had to write a paper in gym (wtf were we doing writing papers in gym?!) and the subject was "If you could be anyone, who would you be and why?"
I remember it vividly. I wrote that I wouldn't want to be anyone else. I said "everyone has problems and faults, so why would I want to take on someone else's burden?"
I was pretty insightful for a 13 year old.
At the end of the class, a girl that everyone made fun of, including me (hanging my head in shame) handed me her paper.
She wanted to be just like me.
It was like a punch in the gut.
She wrote that she wanted to be just like me because I never got angry. I never made fun of people. I always stood up for those around me. I was such an amazing person.
I cried and felt like shit. I had run this girl into the ground for years behind her back. And here she was praising me.
Now she was right on a few things. I didn't let people see me angry. I smiled no matter how hurt/angry/rejected I felt. I also stood up for those who couldn't stand up for themselves.
I was raised in church and tried to live right. I dressed differently. I acted differently. I spoke differently. It made me feel like an outsider, and I thought everyone around me saw me as a loser.
I felt like a loser.
I was poor. My parents fought constantly. My dad was abusive. I had been molested. I was told constantly by my father how stupid I was and that I was a nigger and I'd never amount to anything. So in public I did all I could to fade into the background.
I only stood up for people cause I didn't want them feeling like I did.
As I got older, my self esteem got worse. I did a lot of stupid things. I was with the WORST guys. And I HATED myself for it.
At the age of 17 I walked into my kitchen and fell to my knees. I had hit rock bottom. I cried out "God, please, please, just take me! I can't take this anymore! Please just kill me!"
I had lived in self loathing for 17 years while trying to uplift every one around me and it broke me.
I was drinking every single time I was alone. I was taking massive amounts of pills. Every time I drove I would think "How quickly would I die if I ran into that tree/pole/off this bridge?"
I just wanted the pain that overwhelmed me to end.
Then one day I sat in my chair and God laid this peace on me like I had never felt. I poured out my heart while picturing the new preacher at my church (I wasn't attending church anymore, but I had heard him preach). I just unloaded everything. Every feeling. Every sin. Every short coming.
Then I prayed. I gave every single thing in my life to God. I put my life in His hands and said "I can't do anything. I've messed it all up. Your will be done."
And since that day I have been able to look up and say "Thank you". I'm not saying my life got easier. I still struggled for years. But when I remembered that it was all in God's hands, things went smoothly.
I realized that the shit that happened to me in my past doesn't determine my worth. Its what I chose to do with those experiences.
I may have hit rock bottom, but I got back up. I learned that even when you fall flat on your face, you can still army crawl your way until you can get up on your hands and knees. And I learned that for every bad situation you go through, you can always find the good.
I went through hell, and came out stronger. I came out stronger because I know that God needed me to go through it so that I could help others. There are so many more instances in my life where someone showed me that my "fake it til you can make it" smile got them through their own personal hell.
So instead of constantly dwelling on the wrongs in your life, why not look up and tell God "thank you" every once in a while. Give your burdens to Him. He's better equipped to carry them anyway.
I remember it vividly. I wrote that I wouldn't want to be anyone else. I said "everyone has problems and faults, so why would I want to take on someone else's burden?"
I was pretty insightful for a 13 year old.
At the end of the class, a girl that everyone made fun of, including me (hanging my head in shame) handed me her paper.
She wanted to be just like me.
It was like a punch in the gut.
She wrote that she wanted to be just like me because I never got angry. I never made fun of people. I always stood up for those around me. I was such an amazing person.
I cried and felt like shit. I had run this girl into the ground for years behind her back. And here she was praising me.
Now she was right on a few things. I didn't let people see me angry. I smiled no matter how hurt/angry/rejected I felt. I also stood up for those who couldn't stand up for themselves.
I was raised in church and tried to live right. I dressed differently. I acted differently. I spoke differently. It made me feel like an outsider, and I thought everyone around me saw me as a loser.
I felt like a loser.
I was poor. My parents fought constantly. My dad was abusive. I had been molested. I was told constantly by my father how stupid I was and that I was a nigger and I'd never amount to anything. So in public I did all I could to fade into the background.
I only stood up for people cause I didn't want them feeling like I did.
As I got older, my self esteem got worse. I did a lot of stupid things. I was with the WORST guys. And I HATED myself for it.
At the age of 17 I walked into my kitchen and fell to my knees. I had hit rock bottom. I cried out "God, please, please, just take me! I can't take this anymore! Please just kill me!"
I had lived in self loathing for 17 years while trying to uplift every one around me and it broke me.
I was drinking every single time I was alone. I was taking massive amounts of pills. Every time I drove I would think "How quickly would I die if I ran into that tree/pole/off this bridge?"
I just wanted the pain that overwhelmed me to end.
Then one day I sat in my chair and God laid this peace on me like I had never felt. I poured out my heart while picturing the new preacher at my church (I wasn't attending church anymore, but I had heard him preach). I just unloaded everything. Every feeling. Every sin. Every short coming.
Then I prayed. I gave every single thing in my life to God. I put my life in His hands and said "I can't do anything. I've messed it all up. Your will be done."
And since that day I have been able to look up and say "Thank you". I'm not saying my life got easier. I still struggled for years. But when I remembered that it was all in God's hands, things went smoothly.
I realized that the shit that happened to me in my past doesn't determine my worth. Its what I chose to do with those experiences.
I may have hit rock bottom, but I got back up. I learned that even when you fall flat on your face, you can still army crawl your way until you can get up on your hands and knees. And I learned that for every bad situation you go through, you can always find the good.
I went through hell, and came out stronger. I came out stronger because I know that God needed me to go through it so that I could help others. There are so many more instances in my life where someone showed me that my "fake it til you can make it" smile got them through their own personal hell.
So instead of constantly dwelling on the wrongs in your life, why not look up and tell God "thank you" every once in a while. Give your burdens to Him. He's better equipped to carry them anyway.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Honesty Today
I have always been an honest person. Kinda to a fault.
I don't believe in telling "white lies" to make people feel better about themselves or to keep up appearances. A lie is a lie is a lie. You tell one lie, then you have to tell more to keep it up. And if you lie to me, I can't trust you.
Ever.
The reason I have been thinking about honesty isn't because someone has lied to me lately. Its because people keep lying to "protect" the DEAD. I can't understand that. The person is dead. If they're hanging around listening to what you're saying about them, what EXACTLY can they do about it?
Nothing.
So just let the truth flow. Trust me, it will make you feel better. You've been covering shit up for years and I know it has to be wearing on you. So now is the perfect time to get it off your chest.
I'll go first...
He WASN'T a great man! He was a child molester, a womanizer, an abuser, and a heartless jerk. Yea, maybe when he KNEW his end was around the corner, he probably did give his life to God. I will not dispute that. But don't sit there and lie to everyone talking about what a fantastic father and husband he was when we know the truth! I've heard the stories. I've lived through it. I have come to terms with it, maybe its time you do the same.
Its not a fucking brain injury. The son of a bitch stole a gun, walked out of church and blew half his brains out in front of his friends. It was planned. He did it to get back at you. He did it because he was on drugs. Stop calling him a miracle just because he lived. Look at his life and your life right now. Is it a fantastic blessing? Has it become easier? Is your walk with God closer than ever? No? Know why? CAUSE ITS A FUCKING PUNISHMENT! Stop letting him play sports and go on retreats that you can't fucking afford, then turn around and beg for money! Stop saying he isn't fit to work, but in the same breath talk about the fact that he wants to live on his own. You're making yourself look like an even bigger fool.
Why are you still trying to convince people that she's your daughter? You know she's your grand daughter. She knows she's your grand daughter. EVERYONE knows she's your grand daughter. Your son had an illiterate child and didn't want her. Her mother raised her for, what, 3 years? Then all of a sudden you have become her mother? You were in your early 50's and all of a sudden popped out a 3 year old? She's now in her 20s. She knows exactly who her parents and sister is. LET THE LIE GO! Its over! You're supposed to be a preacher and people of God. Why are you lying?
Same preacher, why did you viciously try to destroy another preacher? What could have possibly been going through your mind to think it was ok to try to ruin a young father's life? Did you, yourself, not preach on the dangers of messing with a man of God? And you did it anyway. Now look where you are. Broken. Feeble. Your son murdered. Your life in shambles. You have cancer. Has God gotten through to you yet? Are you listening to Him, yet?
I could go on and on, but this is getting a bit lengthy. The point is, stop lying, people. Stop lying about others. Stop lying about yourself. Stand up and take responsibility for your actions. Stand up and stop being afraid of backlash.
Know what honesty gets you? A clean conscience and a good nights rest. And maybe even respect.
I don't believe in telling "white lies" to make people feel better about themselves or to keep up appearances. A lie is a lie is a lie. You tell one lie, then you have to tell more to keep it up. And if you lie to me, I can't trust you.
Ever.
The reason I have been thinking about honesty isn't because someone has lied to me lately. Its because people keep lying to "protect" the DEAD. I can't understand that. The person is dead. If they're hanging around listening to what you're saying about them, what EXACTLY can they do about it?
Nothing.
So just let the truth flow. Trust me, it will make you feel better. You've been covering shit up for years and I know it has to be wearing on you. So now is the perfect time to get it off your chest.
I'll go first...
He WASN'T a great man! He was a child molester, a womanizer, an abuser, and a heartless jerk. Yea, maybe when he KNEW his end was around the corner, he probably did give his life to God. I will not dispute that. But don't sit there and lie to everyone talking about what a fantastic father and husband he was when we know the truth! I've heard the stories. I've lived through it. I have come to terms with it, maybe its time you do the same.
Its not a fucking brain injury. The son of a bitch stole a gun, walked out of church and blew half his brains out in front of his friends. It was planned. He did it to get back at you. He did it because he was on drugs. Stop calling him a miracle just because he lived. Look at his life and your life right now. Is it a fantastic blessing? Has it become easier? Is your walk with God closer than ever? No? Know why? CAUSE ITS A FUCKING PUNISHMENT! Stop letting him play sports and go on retreats that you can't fucking afford, then turn around and beg for money! Stop saying he isn't fit to work, but in the same breath talk about the fact that he wants to live on his own. You're making yourself look like an even bigger fool.
Why are you still trying to convince people that she's your daughter? You know she's your grand daughter. She knows she's your grand daughter. EVERYONE knows she's your grand daughter. Your son had an illiterate child and didn't want her. Her mother raised her for, what, 3 years? Then all of a sudden you have become her mother? You were in your early 50's and all of a sudden popped out a 3 year old? She's now in her 20s. She knows exactly who her parents and sister is. LET THE LIE GO! Its over! You're supposed to be a preacher and people of God. Why are you lying?
Same preacher, why did you viciously try to destroy another preacher? What could have possibly been going through your mind to think it was ok to try to ruin a young father's life? Did you, yourself, not preach on the dangers of messing with a man of God? And you did it anyway. Now look where you are. Broken. Feeble. Your son murdered. Your life in shambles. You have cancer. Has God gotten through to you yet? Are you listening to Him, yet?
I could go on and on, but this is getting a bit lengthy. The point is, stop lying, people. Stop lying about others. Stop lying about yourself. Stand up and take responsibility for your actions. Stand up and stop being afraid of backlash.
Know what honesty gets you? A clean conscience and a good nights rest. And maybe even respect.
Welcome!
I am a wife, a mother and a chef. And I have a million thoughts and opinions that I just want to put out there. So I decided to start this blog to rant, rave, and babble about whatever gets stuck in my head or lights a fire under my ass. It will be controversial. If I offend you, well, I really don't care. This isn't for anyone's benefit. This is just my random thoughts and feelings. I will not apologize for anything I say. I will not be politically correct. And I will not sugar coat. Read at your own risk!
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