The end of breastfeeding

I have finally weaned my daughter. I was so excited to get it over with. I was sick of doing it.

Its been a month, and I miss it.

I miss having an easy way to get her to sleep. I miss having that quality time with her.

But I have finally gotten her to just cuddle! For the first time she wants to lay in my arms and just let me hold her! I absolutely love it!

Now if I could just get her to stay in her freaking bed...

Why is a mom so much work?

You always hear moms talking about how much work it is having kids. As a mom, I agree.

You have to be everything to everyone.

But why?

It wasn't always like that. Women didn't used to feel like they had to have a spotless house, great meal on the table 3 times a day, a perfect body, do crafts, have educational games on hand for their kids, have an outside job, and be a full on sex goddess for their man. They didn't feel like there weren't enough hours in the day to get it all done. They didn't slather on wrinkle cream at 25 to make sure they looked like a teenager well into their 50's. They didn't get waxed and shaved and plucked. They didn't work themselves into a depression because they think they have failed in some form.

No, women didn't used to be so high strung.

You were just you. And you were happy to be yourself. Your husband appreciated you for just doing what you got done. There wasn't a need to worry about how everyone viewed you, because there were more important things to think about.

Women spent quality time with each other while sewing or cooking. They enjoyed their family while sitting by the fire at night after supper.

And they didn't give a shit what everyone else was doing.

So where was the switch? When did we go from focusing on our family to feeling like we needed to carry the world?

And how the hell can we go back?!

What happened to honor?

This year I've been watching a lot off different documentaries of gangs, the mob, drug trafficking, stuff on the news about killings and fights and parents that leave their toddlers alone for days or starve them or beat them or whatever. And all I can think is, "What the fuck happened to people?"
What happened to men working hard to earn an honest living to support his family?
Where are the men standing up to protect their women and children from all harm?
Where are the mothers that would gladly lay down their lives to protect their kids and do everything in their power to make sure their kids were safe from all dangers and well fed?
Why is society allowing these horrible drugs to overrun our cities?

WHY?!

I really wish I could answer even one of those questions. But I can't. I don't understand it. I don't understand how a person can look at a child and become sexually excited. I don't get how an entire religious organization can harbor so many sexual predators. Or how people kill, maim, rape, pillage, rob, behead, enslave or go to war all in the name of God. Or how a woman can give birth to a child and callously throw it away as if it were a piece of garbage. Or even abortion.
When did life stop having meaning to people? When did we become so greedy and self absorbed that we can't see the value of innocence?
I am a firm believer in punishing people for their bad deeds. A person that rapes, molests, beats, starves or destroys a child in any shape, form or fashion should be beaten with a cat of nine tails and thrown into prison with little to no food or water, forced to do hard labor, and depending on the severity of their atrocity, put to death in a timely manner.
A man that derives pleasure from brutalizing women (or men) should be castrated by the person(people) he tortured.
Thieves should be put in jail for how ever many months it will take to pay back their debt, and while they're locked up, they actually have to work.
Have prisoners working on farms to help supply this country with food instead of importing it.
People who commit murder without just cause (self defense, a battered woman who has reached her limit, accidental death) should be put to death.
Drug dealers should be used for medical experiments (drug testing and such). I don't mean that crack head on the corner trying to sell a dime bag or something, I mean the higher ups, and only for chemically altered substances such as crack, meth, lsd, ect. Yes I see pot as a drug, and I think its horrible, but deal with the big stuff first. Maybe have the marijuana growers and suppliers put in an old electric chair and remove a toe with wire cutters for every time they've been caught. When you run out of toes, move on to fingers. I don't know, something to get the point across.
And as for the judicial system and the politicians who allow this shit to continue, work farms. All of them. Get those corrupt sons of bitches out of power. From the cops on the street (like the 2 cops that beat the homeless man to death for no fucking reason) all the way up to the Pentagon and White House. There is no possible way to clean up society with corruption running rampant in in the leadership of this country.
And we need to band together. With all of these big cities we have gotten away from "communities". When people start looking out only for themselves, then everything goes wrong. Community gardens, youth centers, churches, sewing groups, sports nights, anything you can thing of to help unite people would be a great step forward. If you bake, start a baking circle and put up fliers and say "free and open to everyone"! When you have a real community, people look out for each other. People are more careful about their actions. There is less domestic violence because someone might find out. Or you can spot the signs and help! You can help children in your neighborhood so they don't go hungry or don't get left all alone.
I don't know what causes people to get completely fucked up and destroy others lives, but I do know that small acts of kindness are the steps in the right direction to help heal this country. And I think its time we all get off our asses and do something about all this fucked up shit!  Its time to bring back honor and self worth to America!

Veggie Week Over!

So I made it through my self torturing week of no meats, breads and dairy. I did cheat twice.
I'm very sorry!!!!
But it did come back to bite me in the ass.
Anyway...
I weighed myself this morning and I am down 6 whole, glorious pounds!
I have proven to myself that I can completely change my eating habits, and that was one of my biggest reasons for doing this. I wasn't working out during this diet, it was just a food thing. I have also proven that I can never, ever, ever be a vegetarian or vegan.
Those people are insane.

When will you stop?

I posted long time ago about breastfeeding, and here's kind of an update.
My daughter is 2  1/2 years old, and still nurses at night. She's down to bedtime, once during the night, and sometimes she comes in my room for a very early morning feeding (like at dawn) then goes back to sleep.
I was hoping to have her 100% weaned, but no luck.
I am really sick of people's opinions on it. I'm especially tired of people who say "You're the adult! Don't let her call the shots!"
That has to be the dumbest of all the comments. I'll never deny my children comfort or nutrients. And that's what  nursing is. My daughter gets to cuddle with me and have me all to herself. That's very important to us both. Just like when I read to my son when I tuck him in. Its our "us" time.
Do I want a full night's rest and not not lactate anymore? Of course!
But I'm a mom. When my kids do sleep all night long, I worry about them and get up to check on them, so I'm not getting rest anyway.

My 1 Week Self Torture

Friday of last week (June 1st) I decided to go 1 week with no breads, pastas, meats or dairy.

The first day wasn't too bad. I really wanted some of the chicken I made my family for supper, but I held on strong and ate my cabbage and sweet potato.
Day two, I woke up in a bad mood. I'm used to having meat at almost every single meal, or at least some serious carbs (French bread and brie or beef jerky are 2 of my favorite snacks!) My family had pancakes for breakfast. I had a peach, green apple and a handful of blueberries drizzled with all natural honey. I also drank a "low calorie" Boost because it has 16g of protien. The whole time I ate that delicious breakfast, I watched a bird in my front yard and wondered if I could kill it with the fork in my hand.
I got through the day. I was grouchy, and could have slapped my husband for trying to get me to eat stuff I swore off, but I made it.
Yesterday, day 3, was very hard. I weighed myself when I woke up and I had lost 4 pounds!

(Here I want to make a side note. It doesn't matter what diet you choose to go on, you HAVE to have calories. Calories are your source of energy, and without a sufficient amount, you become lethargic, lightheaded, scatter brained, and cranky. You should ingest NO LESS than 1000 calories a day, and only that few on a very short term "cleanse" diet that should last no more than a week!)

However, we had company over and I didn't eat nearly enough and had a massive headache by the time they left. Since It was getting late, I had no chance to make up for those lost calories and got very little sleep last night due to the headache.
So here we are at day 4. I had a difficult time waking up this morning. I ran out of Boost yesterday morning, so the only protien I've had has been from my veggies (yea, cabbage has it!) I have no desire to eat another fucking plant. None of it seems appealing. I do have to go get more Boost so I can have my protien. It helps to keep me full and keeps the cranky down. So its a must.
My mom (who is staying with us) made cookies yesterday. Thankfully our friends ate most of them. Its so  hard to stay away from them. In fact, its incredibly hard to not eat everything in my kitchen, then order pizza. But I have made it to day four. I know I can finish this.
On Friday I will be adding oatmeal and fish to my diet. This is not a fad diet that I'm trying. I'm not following any guidelines or specific recipes. I just want to restart my digestive system cause I'm sick of feeling bloated and full. My next post I'll list the stuff I've eaten.

Life has value...but is it equal?

I have been seeing a lot of ads on tv lately about animals. You know the ones. There's always some pitiful dog with sad eyes or a dirty cat and sad music playing in the background while some celebrity asks us for money.

Frankly, I've had enough.

Yes, I value animals. They can be a beloved pet and can bring us joy. Yes they are beautiful, amazing creatures. Yes they have value.

But 'm not sending money to help them. Why? Cause there are starving kids all across the country that need help.
There are abused and neglected children that just need to know someone cares.
Animals have value, but never is their worth going to equal that of a human. They were created as part of the food chain. The food chain of which we, as humans, top. Every single animal on Earth can be eaten.
I grew up knowing real hunger as a child in poverty, and I know how much it means to have meat brought to the table. It was a real blessing that my father is a hunter. When we didn't know where our next meal was coming from, he went out and killed something for us. Or a friend did. Deer, rabbit, snake, gator, fish, whatever. If it can be hunted, we hunted it.
And since we lived in the country, we had many farming friends that would let us pick whatever they were growing in exchange for mechanic work or housekeeping.
We were lucky.
Not everyone is that lucky.
And I am disgusted by the obesity rate (of which I am a part of) in this country when there are so many that go hungry for days on end. I know why I over eat. I never want to feel those horrible hunger pangs that came so often as a child. That's why I have a garden of my own. Its why I don't let my cabinets get too bare. I refuse to allow my children to go without.
Its also why I donate to local food banks and hold auctions to benefit Share Our Strength's Great American Bake Sale.
There is so much we can do to help those living in poverty. Why not close some of those animal shelters and open up more food banks and soup kitchens? Any animal bought in a pet store should be spayed or neutered.
Use all available lots in the inner cities to make community gardens.
Allow hunters to donate what they kill to soup kitchens. Especially in places with over populations of certain animals.
I am a firm believer in getting back to our roots and bringing back the old way of life. If there were more farms, we can use the prison population to work them. Get rid of all those milking machines, and do it by hand. Frankly, we force cows to over produce milk anyway. (Adults don't need milk! When was the last time you saw a full grown bull walk up to a cow and start nursing?)
I've kinda gotten off topic, but the point is PETA, ASPCA and all those other animal rights activist need to focus on what's really important.
PEOPLE.
Save our own species before rushing out to save an animal that could feed a family. I guarantee that no other species on Earth is fighting to save us.

Belle-neck

Southern women are perceived as being of one of two classes.
There are the "Southern Belles", of course. The old money type that never gets her hands dirty. She dresses to the nines just to go brush her teeth. Her hair is perfect, and her skin is utterly flawless. She speaks with such a cultured draw that every word sounds as if it were honey flowing from her mouth. She never rushes. She never gets angry. She is the perfect woman.
She can flirt with anyone and make every man feel as if he's the sexiest man alive. But she's no slut. No, her eyes, heart, and attention are for that one special man. And it truly takes a special man to keep her attention.
She spends her days doing the most dainty tasks, because she wouldn't dare break a sweat or get a callus. Yea, she's perfect. A real lady.

Then, of course, there's the other side. The redneck woman. The one that always looks like she just rolled out of bed, and doesn't care. She's always carrying a kid on her hip while she gets groceries, cleans the house, does yard work, plows a field and works on the truck. She can beat any man at anything. She knows she doesn't need a man in her life. He's just another mouth to feed and person to clean up after.
That woman never sits down. She scrubs the floor, fixes the clogged toilet, attends PTA meetings, and has a hot supper on the table. Then she cleans up the supper mess (which she ate cold) before fixing everyone's lunch for the next day, makes sure everyone has clean clothes, and rechecks all the doors and windows, loads her gun, and then goes to bed.
That woman is a machine. She may be trashy, but she has her shit together!

I've met both of these women. Hell, I am both of these women.
A true Southern woman is the perfect mixture of everything. She can charm the most wild beast, then kill it, and cook it for dinner. She can look just as dainty as a pansy blowing in the spring breeze while she hangs clothes on the line and yells at her kids to shut the hell up and stop fighting. She can give her man the greatest night of passion, and seconds later jump up to rock her baby back to sleep.
A Southern woman is the most amazing being on Earth. A true gift from God.

He's the kind of man who...

He's the kind of man that makes your stomach jump and heart skip a beat when he looks at you. Whether its from the barbaric brutality in his eyes, or his savage good looks, you don't really know.
Or care to know for that matter.
You only hope he'll glance at you once more so that you can feel that flutter again.
 He's the kind of man that you can't shake. You find yourself daydreaming about him when you least expect it. You're drawn to detailed visions of him ravishing you against a tree in the middle of the woods after he's snatched you from your horse like some savage in a storybook.
Or you can't help feeling his calloused hands lightly caress your trembling body after he has thoroughly made love to you in a way you never knew existed.
 You imagine those incredibly sexy, full lips placing soft kisses over every inch of your body.

The thing is, your imagination could never come close to the reality.
The reality is, he's more man than almost any woman can handle. He has a fierceness deep inside of him that boils over at times in the most glorious ways that lets you know that there are real men still out there that have boundless passion for real women. He takes great pains to treat his woman like the world's most delicate flower so that she won't be crushed in the power of his love.

He's the kind of man that I am so glad I married.

Ignorant Sex

I read an article today about how the French have a great postpartum program for women that help them strengthen their pelvic floor muscles to get their uterus and vagina back in shape so they can have a healthy pregnancy for a following child, prevent uterine prolapse, urinary incontinence, and continue to have a healthy sex life.
I think its a fantastic idea! Especially since 1 in 3 women suffer from incontinence, and many have to resort to surgery to tack their bladder, or even repair the damage done by giving birth.
But, sadly, there are those ignorant women that think its dirty, or disgusting, or a sexist act to please their man.
And its reactions like that that infuriate me!
Sexual education in this country is such a disgusting display of ignorance. Starting in the 5th grade we are told the same thing every year in school.
"Girls have periods. They can get pregnant by having sex. Condoms and birth control prevent getting pregnant."
That's pretty much it.
We're never taught that before a girl has her first period, she can still get pregnant, because you still ovulate before you shed your endometrial lining for the very first time.
Having a period does NOT mean you aren't pregnant.
Birth control is only a small step in preventing pregnancy, and it only works if it's used PROPERLY.
Overweight and underweight females may have more health issues while using birth control than a female of average weight.
Teen pregnancy is NOT the worst thing to happen when having sex at a young age.
STD's are more likely to adversely effect a woman's fertility than a man's.
A teenager using the patch/pill/shot is much more likely to contract and spread STDs because they think they don't need a condom.
STDs are still spread through oral sex.
YOU CANNOT GET PREGNANT BY SWALLOWING SEMEN! (Its very sad that I even have to say this, but while I was in high school, I heard 2 different females, both older than me and sexually active way before I was, asked 2 separate teachers "Can you get pregnant by swallowing cum?" Even though I was a virgin at the time, I still knew the answer was no, and I wanted to hit both of them upside the head with an anatomy book)
While pregnant, every one of your organs are moved and this can cause a multitude of pains, annoyances, and health issues.
Kegels are a girl's best friend and should be done every single day!
Pap smears are VERY important! From the age of 18, or your first sexual encounter, you should have a pap smear every year. If you have more than 1 sexual partner in that year, or are with someone that is sleeping with other people (even if you only THINK they MAY be cheating!) get your ass to your gyno asap!
Boobs ARE a reproductive organ and should be treated with the same reverence as your vagina.
Cheap bras are great for being around your house, but you need a good bra that holds your boobs up high, where they belong (no matter their size) to prevent sagging, backaches, and chest pains (for larger boobs).
I don't care that they say you should get mammograms every year starting at 40. Check yourself every single month, and find a doctor that will give you a mammogram at least every 2 years starting when you have your first kid. Breast cancer isn't something that old women get. And its not something that only women get. Everyone is at risk.
Breastfeeding is just as good for your health and our economy as it is for your child. The longer you breastfeed, the healthier you and your child are, and the lower your risk of breast/uterine/cervical/ovarian cancer gets. It also makes menopause easier.
I have a million more about pregnancy and how it changes your body. And I do believe all of this should be taught in school. Every school starting in the 4th or 5th grade. Everyone will have sex at some point in their life, and they should be fully educated before entering into such an emotional and physical, life altering activity. From the moment a girl has sex, her body changes to start preparing for the possibility of pregnancy. A woman's body is such a complex work of art that doctors and scientist are still finding things out about it. In comparison, a man's body is relatively simple.
Oh, and NEVER let a doctor tell you something is "just in your head" or dismiss your concerns about your health. Consider your doctor as you would your employee. They work for you and must take your demands seriously. Otherwise, fire them.
And here is the link to the article I read:
http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/133185/provocative_postpartum_care_in_france

Shut that kid up!

Ever been in a store or restaurant and some kid is screaming their head off loud enough to make everyone turn and stare?

Was it your kid?

I have been the parent of the screamer, and the shopper/dinner that had to hear it. Both times I have the same reaction.
IGNORE IT!
There is absolutely no reason to freak out when your kid throws a fit. Its something every single kid that has ever walked this earth does. Its not a reflection on your parenting, its just what kids do.
If they're throwing a fit cause you told them they couldn't do or have something, ignore them. Giving in will just show them they can get their way if they just yell.
If they're throwing a fit cause they're tired, then let them snuggle in your lap, on your shoulder, or put them in your buggy with a pillow.
As a parent, its your job to make your kid safe, healthy, and well rounded. Not give in to their every whim and pacify their every tantrum.

Now if you are a bystander, the most helpful thing you can do is smile at the parent and say "I've been there!" or "Don't worry, this phase will pass"
It pisses me off to see people get all flustered or start making fun of the parent or child in distress.
I remember this one time, we were grocery shopping and my daughter, who was only a few months at the time, was sound asleep on my husband's shoulder. There was a child screaming wildly somewhere in the store, and as we turned down the cereal aisle, there was a young couple mimicking the child's cries. I looked the man right in the eye and said "SHUT. UP." He was looked very shocked and his wife/girlfriend said "Excuse me?" So I firmly said "My daughter is asleep and you need to shut up, right now."
They just walked away.
There was absolutely no need in them making asses of themselves. They showed how petty and foolish they are. It was just so dumb.

So the next time you hear that all too familiar wail, just tune it out, cause people are not only looking at the child and parent, they're also looking at you. And no one likes a jackass.

Mamma Bear on a Rampage

If you've read my earlier blogs, you know how I feel about bullies.
Well, a child, whom my mother and I have both found to be a bit...well, he's a prick...has decided to start messing with my son this past week.
Why?
Because my son wears glasses.
Yep. That's it. Every insult thrown in my son's face is all about his glasses.
"You can't play with us, because you wear glasses"
"No one likes you, because you wear glasses"
"Your glasses are ugly."
And the "insults" go on.
We've taught Ian that when someone says mean things, to tell the teacher. When someone puts their hands on him, he has our full permission to beat their ass.
So all week he's told on this kid. And a few times Ian has reported that the kid had to move his paw (they each have a paw print in honor of their school mascot, the Tiger, and when they misbehave, they have to move it from the "good box" to either green, yellow or red, with red being a call home and trip to the principal). I'm glad he was reprimanded and when they move their paw, a note is sent home. So I was ok with that.
Until today.
I picked Ian up after school and asked him about his day. He said that kid told him to take his glasses off so he could stomp on them and break them.
I asked if he told on the kid. He said yea, but his assistant teacher said "I don't want to hear it"
Really? This is your response to a child wanting to damage another child's personal property? And not just any personal property, something he HAS to have to be able to do his work and see where he's going.
Now, I find a threat to my son and/or his stuff unacceptable, and I feel that the closest adult should rectify the situation as swiftly as possible.
But apparently, I can't depend on his teachers to make sure that there is no bullying going on.
Therefore I told my son today, that the next time that little bastard says something mean to him, to grab him by his shirt, and punch him square in the face. I told him that his teacher will get on to him, but that I would be very proud of him for standing up for himself.
And if that doesn't shut him up, I will have a sit down with his mother, and someone's gonna have to tote an ass whoopin.

Weaning My 2 Year Old

Lately my daughter seems to have reverted back to being an infant. She wants to nurse non stop night and day. I have gone 2 weeks without sleep.

So I decided, THIS IS IT!

Friday, January 13th, I decided to refuse her as much as possible. She, of course, threw a fit every single time. I was punched, slapped, screamed at, and even shaken.
But I did get her to take a nap without nursing.
That was a big step!
Then, Friday night, I was able to do something I haven't done since she was born. I got her to sleep, and tucked in, without nursing her! It was amazing!
Saturday morning, I woke up feeling rather cocky. I thought we had this thing licked with no issues!
Pride comes before a fall.
Her cheeks doubled in size and became fevered. Yep, the dreaded 2 year molars are rearing their big, fat, mean ass, heads.
I hate every single one of her teeth, because they have all given her pure hell as they come in.
I had to give in to her. I nursed her for her late evening nap, then gave her advil. She wanted her puffy coat on, and snuggled up in the blanket my mom crocheted for her (its large enough to cover us both while I rock and nurse her). She looked so pitiful tucked in the corner of the couch with a frown on her flushed face. It was truly heartbreaking.
So, I gave in again.
I let her nurse before bed, but didn't let her drift off while nursing (like she always has). I also let her nurse during the night when she woke up.
This morning she seems to be back to her cheerful, mean, active self, so I haven't let her nurse. She's screamed at me. but I don't mind. I know that if she really needs it, I can offer it to her, but I also knows she can get by just fine without it.
And the best part of this has been the cuddling. She has NEVER wanted to cuddle before. If I picked her up, it was all about the boobs. I never got to just hold her close and share those sweet moments of cheek to cheek time. Until now. And I love every second of it!

*Exasperated Sigh*

So I'm trying to build my website for my business. Why is it so difficult? This is making me want to scream.
I'm sure they aren't all this annoying, but I'm using a free site to just "learn the ropes" but if the others are anything like this, I might as well not have a site at all!!!

2012...Oh My

So another year is upon us.
Time sure is flying by.
I remember as a child it seemed like time stood still. I didn't think I'd ever grow up!
Now I'm 27, have 2 kids, married, own a business, a house, 2 vehicles, I volunteer at my son's school, I'm part of mommy groups...
I'm an adult!
I don't know when that happened, but I am slap dab in the middle of adulthood!!
So since I'm this responsible adult, I guess its time to make "resolutions" and stick to them.

Hmm...resolutions.

By February almost every resolution is forgotten.

I won't make resolutions. I don't like going back on my word. I won't even make a promise if there is any doubt about keeping it.

No. No resolutions.

Vows. I can keep vows.

I VOW to be healthy.
I VOW to be a better house keeper. (I am so lazy!)
I VOW to spend more quality time with my kids.
I VOW to take more time for myself and stop putting myself down.
I VOW to get a website up and running!!!!
I VOW to be a better wife.
I VOW to be more active.
I VOW to stop making excuses.

Yea. That seems like a good start...

Thank you, stranger!

Today we went to the farmer's market to pick up some veggies, cheeses and meats. I love going there. I always find incredible things and get so many ideas!
As I was going through the breads and picking out the perfect rustic Italian loaf, A woman passed by me with her baby in one of those moby wrap things. The little girl was sitting up and I noticed she was kinda burying her face in her mother's chest. My first thought was "Aw! She's sleeping!"
Then my "nursing mother" instincts kicked in.
The little girl was nursing!
Only a woman who has shopped and nursed would have noticed it! She wasn't showing any skin. She wasn't even paying attention. It was such a casual thing.
I stopped her and say, "Ma'am, I just want to thank you for breastfeeding."
She was a little shocked at first, but this huge smile spread on her face and she said "Thank you!"
I told her that I'm still nursing my 2 year old and that I am a huge advocate for nursing, and nursing in public and that I just really appreciated her doing it.
She told me that her daughter just turned one and she was glad someone else feels as strongly about it as she does.
Then her daughter gave the most amazing giggle and told me bye as she waved. It was too cute!!

So maybe the next time you see a nursing mother, you may want to brighten her day by thanking her for doing what's best for her child!