Friday, November 9, 2012

The end of breastfeeding

I have finally weaned my daughter. I was so excited to get it over with. I was sick of doing it.

Its been a month, and I miss it.

I miss having an easy way to get her to sleep. I miss having that quality time with her.

But I have finally gotten her to just cuddle! For the first time she wants to lay in my arms and just let me hold her! I absolutely love it!

Now if I could just get her to stay in her freaking bed...

Why is a mom so much work?

You always hear moms talking about how much work it is having kids. As a mom, I agree.

You have to be everything to everyone.

But why?

It wasn't always like that. Women didn't used to feel like they had to have a spotless house, great meal on the table 3 times a day, a perfect body, do crafts, have educational games on hand for their kids, have an outside job, and be a full on sex goddess for their man. They didn't feel like there weren't enough hours in the day to get it all done. They didn't slather on wrinkle cream at 25 to make sure they looked like a teenager well into their 50's. They didn't get waxed and shaved and plucked. They didn't work themselves into a depression because they think they have failed in some form.

No, women didn't used to be so high strung.

You were just you. And you were happy to be yourself. Your husband appreciated you for just doing what you got done. There wasn't a need to worry about how everyone viewed you, because there were more important things to think about.

Women spent quality time with each other while sewing or cooking. They enjoyed their family while sitting by the fire at night after supper.

And they didn't give a shit what everyone else was doing.

So where was the switch? When did we go from focusing on our family to feeling like we needed to carry the world?

And how the hell can we go back?!

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

What happened to honor?

This year I've been watching a lot off different documentaries of gangs, the mob, drug trafficking, stuff on the news about killings and fights and parents that leave their toddlers alone for days or starve them or beat them or whatever. And all I can think is, "What the fuck happened to people?"
What happened to men working hard to earn an honest living to support his family?
Where are the men standing up to protect their women and children from all harm?
Where are the mothers that would gladly lay down their lives to protect their kids and do everything in their power to make sure their kids were safe from all dangers and well fed?
Why is society allowing these horrible drugs to overrun our cities?

WHY?!

I really wish I could answer even one of those questions. But I can't. I don't understand it. I don't understand how a person can look at a child and become sexually excited. I don't get how an entire religious organization can harbor so many sexual predators. Or how people kill, maim, rape, pillage, rob, behead, enslave or go to war all in the name of God. Or how a woman can give birth to a child and callously throw it away as if it were a piece of garbage. Or even abortion.
When did life stop having meaning to people? When did we become so greedy and self absorbed that we can't see the value of innocence?
I am a firm believer in punishing people for their bad deeds. A person that rapes, molests, beats, starves or destroys a child in any shape, form or fashion should be beaten with a cat of nine tails and thrown into prison with little to no food or water, forced to do hard labor, and depending on the severity of their atrocity, put to death in a timely manner.
A man that derives pleasure from brutalizing women (or men) should be castrated by the person(people) he tortured.
Thieves should be put in jail for how ever many months it will take to pay back their debt, and while they're locked up, they actually have to work.
Have prisoners working on farms to help supply this country with food instead of importing it.
People who commit murder without just cause (self defense, a battered woman who has reached her limit, accidental death) should be put to death.
Drug dealers should be used for medical experiments (drug testing and such). I don't mean that crack head on the corner trying to sell a dime bag or something, I mean the higher ups, and only for chemically altered substances such as crack, meth, lsd, ect. Yes I see pot as a drug, and I think its horrible, but deal with the big stuff first. Maybe have the marijuana growers and suppliers put in an old electric chair and remove a toe with wire cutters for every time they've been caught. When you run out of toes, move on to fingers. I don't know, something to get the point across.
And as for the judicial system and the politicians who allow this shit to continue, work farms. All of them. Get those corrupt sons of bitches out of power. From the cops on the street (like the 2 cops that beat the homeless man to death for no fucking reason) all the way up to the Pentagon and White House. There is no possible way to clean up society with corruption running rampant in in the leadership of this country.
And we need to band together. With all of these big cities we have gotten away from "communities". When people start looking out only for themselves, then everything goes wrong. Community gardens, youth centers, churches, sewing groups, sports nights, anything you can thing of to help unite people would be a great step forward. If you bake, start a baking circle and put up fliers and say "free and open to everyone"! When you have a real community, people look out for each other. People are more careful about their actions. There is less domestic violence because someone might find out. Or you can spot the signs and help! You can help children in your neighborhood so they don't go hungry or don't get left all alone.
I don't know what causes people to get completely fucked up and destroy others lives, but I do know that small acts of kindness are the steps in the right direction to help heal this country. And I think its time we all get off our asses and do something about all this fucked up shit!  Its time to bring back honor and self worth to America!

Friday, June 8, 2012

Veggie Week Over!

So I made it through my self torturing week of no meats, breads and dairy. I did cheat twice.
I'm very sorry!!!!
But it did come back to bite me in the ass.
Anyway...
I weighed myself this morning and I am down 6 whole, glorious pounds!
I have proven to myself that I can completely change my eating habits, and that was one of my biggest reasons for doing this. I wasn't working out during this diet, it was just a food thing. I have also proven that I can never, ever, ever be a vegetarian or vegan.
Those people are insane.

Monday, June 4, 2012

When will you stop?

I posted long time ago about breastfeeding, and here's kind of an update.
My daughter is 2  1/2 years old, and still nurses at night. She's down to bedtime, once during the night, and sometimes she comes in my room for a very early morning feeding (like at dawn) then goes back to sleep.
I was hoping to have her 100% weaned, but no luck.
I am really sick of people's opinions on it. I'm especially tired of people who say "You're the adult! Don't let her call the shots!"
That has to be the dumbest of all the comments. I'll never deny my children comfort or nutrients. And that's what  nursing is. My daughter gets to cuddle with me and have me all to herself. That's very important to us both. Just like when I read to my son when I tuck him in. Its our "us" time.
Do I want a full night's rest and not not lactate anymore? Of course!
But I'm a mom. When my kids do sleep all night long, I worry about them and get up to check on them, so I'm not getting rest anyway.

My 1 Week Self Torture

Friday of last week (June 1st) I decided to go 1 week with no breads, pastas, meats or dairy.

The first day wasn't too bad. I really wanted some of the chicken I made my family for supper, but I held on strong and ate my cabbage and sweet potato.
Day two, I woke up in a bad mood. I'm used to having meat at almost every single meal, or at least some serious carbs (French bread and brie or beef jerky are 2 of my favorite snacks!) My family had pancakes for breakfast. I had a peach, green apple and a handful of blueberries drizzled with all natural honey. I also drank a "low calorie" Boost because it has 16g of protien. The whole time I ate that delicious breakfast, I watched a bird in my front yard and wondered if I could kill it with the fork in my hand.
I got through the day. I was grouchy, and could have slapped my husband for trying to get me to eat stuff I swore off, but I made it.
Yesterday, day 3, was very hard. I weighed myself when I woke up and I had lost 4 pounds!

(Here I want to make a side note. It doesn't matter what diet you choose to go on, you HAVE to have calories. Calories are your source of energy, and without a sufficient amount, you become lethargic, lightheaded, scatter brained, and cranky. You should ingest NO LESS than 1000 calories a day, and only that few on a very short term "cleanse" diet that should last no more than a week!)

However, we had company over and I didn't eat nearly enough and had a massive headache by the time they left. Since It was getting late, I had no chance to make up for those lost calories and got very little sleep last night due to the headache.
So here we are at day 4. I had a difficult time waking up this morning. I ran out of Boost yesterday morning, so the only protien I've had has been from my veggies (yea, cabbage has it!) I have no desire to eat another fucking plant. None of it seems appealing. I do have to go get more Boost so I can have my protien. It helps to keep me full and keeps the cranky down. So its a must.
My mom (who is staying with us) made cookies yesterday. Thankfully our friends ate most of them. Its so  hard to stay away from them. In fact, its incredibly hard to not eat everything in my kitchen, then order pizza. But I have made it to day four. I know I can finish this.
On Friday I will be adding oatmeal and fish to my diet. This is not a fad diet that I'm trying. I'm not following any guidelines or specific recipes. I just want to restart my digestive system cause I'm sick of feeling bloated and full. My next post I'll list the stuff I've eaten.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Life has value...but is it equal?

I have been seeing a lot of ads on tv lately about animals. You know the ones. There's always some pitiful dog with sad eyes or a dirty cat and sad music playing in the background while some celebrity asks us for money.

Frankly, I've had enough.

Yes, I value animals. They can be a beloved pet and can bring us joy. Yes they are beautiful, amazing creatures. Yes they have value.

But 'm not sending money to help them. Why? Cause there are starving kids all across the country that need help.
There are abused and neglected children that just need to know someone cares.
Animals have value, but never is their worth going to equal that of a human. They were created as part of the food chain. The food chain of which we, as humans, top. Every single animal on Earth can be eaten.
I grew up knowing real hunger as a child in poverty, and I know how much it means to have meat brought to the table. It was a real blessing that my father is a hunter. When we didn't know where our next meal was coming from, he went out and killed something for us. Or a friend did. Deer, rabbit, snake, gator, fish, whatever. If it can be hunted, we hunted it.
And since we lived in the country, we had many farming friends that would let us pick whatever they were growing in exchange for mechanic work or housekeeping.
We were lucky.
Not everyone is that lucky.
And I am disgusted by the obesity rate (of which I am a part of) in this country when there are so many that go hungry for days on end. I know why I over eat. I never want to feel those horrible hunger pangs that came so often as a child. That's why I have a garden of my own. Its why I don't let my cabinets get too bare. I refuse to allow my children to go without.
Its also why I donate to local food banks and hold auctions to benefit Share Our Strength's Great American Bake Sale.
There is so much we can do to help those living in poverty. Why not close some of those animal shelters and open up more food banks and soup kitchens? Any animal bought in a pet store should be spayed or neutered.
Use all available lots in the inner cities to make community gardens.
Allow hunters to donate what they kill to soup kitchens. Especially in places with over populations of certain animals.
I am a firm believer in getting back to our roots and bringing back the old way of life. If there were more farms, we can use the prison population to work them. Get rid of all those milking machines, and do it by hand. Frankly, we force cows to over produce milk anyway. (Adults don't need milk! When was the last time you saw a full grown bull walk up to a cow and start nursing?)
I've kinda gotten off topic, but the point is PETA, ASPCA and all those other animal rights activist need to focus on what's really important.
PEOPLE.
Save our own species before rushing out to save an animal that could feed a family. I guarantee that no other species on Earth is fighting to save us.